Horrible Peanut's Blog

How to Manage Errors in a Delivery

2010-03-18T20:10:00.004Z

Quality failure happens. Sometimes even the most careful and conscientious companies deliver a lemon. The difference between the pros and those who have bit more to learn is the response to the quality failure.

Assume Responsibility
First – assume responsibility. Instead of arguing with the client, thank them. Sounds like it’s elementary, but at the end of a long project, after several scope changes some people get protective over their projects. Then give the client a deadline in which you’ll get back to them with more information. Then perform your due diligence. If time is critical for them and the error doesn’t keep them from QA-ing the rest of the delivery, tell them to continue and their testing and let you know of any other errors.

Due Diligence
Figure out what kind of error is occurring. There are a few kinds of quality failures:

Errors in the delivery where the objective is clear, but the delivery doesn’t reflect the objective.
Errors in the communication from the client of their expectation or from the company of their intention.

Research what the error impacts. Find out what aspects of the delivery are affected and estimate how long it will take to fix it in it’s entirety so the delivery is airtight (flawless).

Take this opportunity to get evidence to find out the source or cause of the error. If it’s a matter of a delivery error, it could just be sloppiness. It happens- but the more solid a process you have in place for QA, the less possibility it has of occurring.

If it’s communication mistakes- discern whether the error was on their end or your end. This is important because if it’s on your end- the fix will most likely have to be gratis. If it’s their end- you have a better chance of getting the client to pay for part of all of the work to fix it. Make sure you have documentation to back it up (come armed with evidence).

Approach Client
Only after you have a solid idea of what exactly is the cause of the error is, the extent of it, how you’re going to fix it and when you’re going to deliver the fixed version. Be prepared for some blowback. Especially if you're looking for the client to subsidize the fixes.

Perform Fixes
Resist the urge to rush the fix out the door again and get onto other projects. Imagine the egg on your face if your subsequent delivery has more errors, or hasn’t addressed the original errors properly.

After the fix is complete, perform another round of QA on all aspects of the project – even if you don’t think that the fix could have affected that aspect of it. This is for two reasons.

If it’s software- the code could impact it.
You might find other errors the client didn’t see yet.

Take Away
After the fix is complete and delivered, look at the errors in your QA that allowed this to happen. It not only is prohibitive from a cost perspective to perform fixes after client delivery - more importantly it is detrimental to your professionalism and makes you look like monkeys.

If the error was objective or intention based- look at your documentation process. Maybe your process needs to include another set of documents such as use cases.

Conclusion
No one is above error. Solid processes can help save the day and keep the errors from happening, but a strong and effective reaction will help get your team out of the dog house in the eyes of management, and the client.

Special Thanks to John Murray who was mysteriously unreachable last Wednesday and seriously hung over on Thursday.

Employee Retention

2009-12-03T20:13:00.002Z

My editor John Murray recently sent me article on the MSNBC website that talked about employee retention in an uptick market. Now that companies are finding (rightly or wrongly) that the worst of the economic contraction is behind them (which I’m not going to debate), they’ve found that some employees who were waiting out the recession in a safe harbor are now jumping ship.

Instead of reinventing the wheel in terms of the article, I’ll do my own take on how to retain employees in a small business. In any business, large or small- employees are the engine of the company. While no one is irreplaceable, replacing even temporary part timers comes at a cost.

Retention vs Replacement

It makes cost and operations sense to retain current employees rather than replace them. Recruiting a new face creates uncertainty. Will he or she upset the apple cart in the department? Will they jive with the company? Are they reliable? Properly training a new face represents a period where the person is a cash drain for the company while they get up to speed. Even with related experience, every employee has some getting their heads around the processes of the new company.

If you have a current employee whose performance is south of legendary, it might be worth your while to take more of a chance on them if they largely fit the culture of the company.
First you have to evaluate frankly if the trouble is skill based on attitudinal based- that’s not to say that the two are exclusive, and if the two usually impact each other.

Remotivate a current employee

Sit down with them and tell them you’re not happy with their performance, but you’re not giving up on them. You want to help them, and ask if they’re game too. This is crucial that they must make the decision for themselves to bring their performance back up. It is also crucial that you hold up your side of the bargain and try to figure out how the person can become more of a revenue source than a drain.

If they happen to be bored, challenge them with new tasks in addition to their old ones to spice things up again. If they are marginalized from the project- in they are losing perspective from the whole project because all they do is one small little piece- have them sit in on more project meetings to see how their tasks integrate holistically.
If they are honestly undertrained in an aspect of their job or a task- retrain them on that particular task without judgment or criticism. People can forget best procedures when doing a task day in day out.

Recruit a new employee

While it’s all well and good to have related skills, you also have to keep culture in mind. If they come from a large bank, and you have a small software company- chances are they’re going to go through a little culture shock. There are skills and attributes that allow people to deal with culture shock better- it’s called EQ (Emotional Quotient), and it basically represents how self aware people are their ‘people skills’. The more people skills the person has, the easier it will probably be for them to adapt to new environments and new cultures. A huge aspect of that is self-awareness, so when interviewing a candidate that will be moving from a significantly different culture than yours- ask attitudinal based questions that will indicate some level of awareness they possess. Try to keep in mind- you can always train someone on the right skills for the job- you can’t train culture.

Or you could of course just stick to bringing people on board who are from companies with similar cultures to your own.

Don’t get me wrong- recruiting new new blood and new perspective will provide youthful energy and passion into your projects and allow them to take into new areas that you couldn’t before. It comes at the price of rookie mistakes, but mixing old hats in with the newbies could allow you to gleam the best of both worlds out of the project (although it could also bring out the worst aspects of both).

Firing

That’s an interesting and important enough blog that it will be covered in a future blog all on it’s own.

In Conclusion – employee attrition is normal, natural and healthy. Keep an eye on you employee attrition rates, and be aware of the industry standard. If your rates are unreasonably above industry standard, chances are you should do some reflection on your management style, as the problem might be you.

Thanks to my editor John Murray who insists on all of the blame and none of the glory.

Ernie and Bert Style of Management

2009-11-11T19:48:00.006Z

Everything I know about Business- I learned from Sesame Street

Sesame Street, as Google is constantly reminding us is celebrating 40 years on the air, entertaining, educating and –let’s face it- babysitting toddlers for 4 decades.

In honor of this occasion- I thought it would be suitable to discuss the phenomenon I like to call the Ernie and Bert style dichotomy of management.

Ernie- is forever the optimist! He has crazy dreams and wild ideas. He’s the people person. The visionary. Unfortunately- his ideas are sometimes too crazy- and he sometimes needs an element to ground him and make sure that costs are kept in mind and that the project has a sufficient dose of reality. This dose comes in the form of his roommate the pigeon loving, monobrowed Bert.

In the management office- you need the Ernie to see where opportunities lie and to tackle them boldly. You need the Ernie to share his vision and get clients and the team excited about a new project. You need the Ernie to take risks- which comes hand in hand with reward.

You also need the Bert. The Bert is the accountant or cost controller. The Bert nags Ernie to keep on task when Ernie is so busy chasing new clients that his older accounts are languishing. The Bert makes sure that Ernie’s plans bring in a profit, and that there are processes in place to keep the profitability on track.

Management requires a certain level of dichotomy in their practice in order to be effective. In some organizations, there’s one who serves as the Ernie consistently and one who acts as the Bert. It’s in your own company and business unit’s best interest to be able to work both roles yourself and channel your inner fun loving snickering Ernie as well as your inner calculating, cautious and careful Bert and allow both to influence your management and leadership practice.

And just remember- sometimes even Bert can get swept up in the fun. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iF4HCFpbRWQ

Thanks to John Murray who wants to buy a letter S.

Thinking Small

2009-10-29T14:47:00.007Z

Business Schools are traditional proving grounds for Corporations (and the firms that cater to them). The models and theories that are taught tend to focus on larger companies. More to the point- the business cases reviewed in class concentrate on larger companies and often (but not always) involving larger solutions that have less relevance to a smaller company. (Caveat: Most business schools offer some form of entrepreneurship classes and some even offer specialization in managing SME's)

I’m not wondering if someone who’s interested in smaller business can get enough relevant knowledge from the formal business training to make the investment worth it. The answer is in my opinion - most certainly. I want to opine from a new manager perspective about why working for a smaller company is a better choice- at least for some people.

While getting an MBA, HBA or a B-Comm can certainly make you a qualified candidate for Ernst and Young or Delloitt, it also makes you a prized candidate for Goldfarb and Dillard Management Accountants, with a team of all of 7 CAs.

Skill exposure
Business Schools intend to train people to be well rounded managers. It is once they start working that their skills become deeper in one function, and the skills they don’t use day to day tend to atrophy. A small company allows them to get exposure to the full spectrum of business functions.

People who work at larger companies complain that they get pigeon holed into a function, and the scope of their role is relatively limited. They are expected to be highly specialized and deep, but narrow in their knowledge. In small companies- employees- especially managers are expected to wear many hats. Because there isn’t the man power to have one person designated to (as an example) product strategy, you’re expected to do product strategy, plus design, plus account management and marketing and so on.

More Say
Larger companies are traditionally tiered and highly hierarchical. Smaller companies- while still hierarchical have fewer tiers and are thus, flatter. More to the point- each employee has a greater direct influence on the company, and their own role. If they have a great idea- they can walk into the President’s Office and pitch it, and chances are- the president will be receptive.
Try that in Verizon- I’m not certain you’ll get the same response.

Greater Exposure to the Cycle
In a larger company, it’s common to compartmentalize the offering cycle, much like the functions get compartmentalized. In smaller companies- it’s not uncommon to have someone who is the specialist and is deeply involved in every aspect of the cycle.

This not only is more gratifying in that allows people to feel more like valued contributors to the business’ health rather than just cogs that participate in an iterated process.

For the company the benefit is twofold: it lays the groundwork for ownership over the project, which is taps into the highest motivator available: Personal Pride. It also allows perspective that would otherwise be lost- and that is how each step on the cycle affects each other, for example: how design and planning stage of the cycle affects the post implementation support.

Agility
Smaller companies have ability to change direction more quickly than larger. That allows them to traverse economic downs with more ease, and add or drop offerings in its brand with greater speed.
Part of it is processes; some smaller companies have tighter processes that have smaller time frames, others have no processes at all, which allows them to practice more organically (although I do not suggest this).

Another part is clients; larger companies will likely have more clients or larger clients. Changing direction on them overnight is going to be far easier if you only content with 2 major accounts and 8 smaller ones than 200 major accounts and 800,000 small ones.

Employee number; Getting buy-in from 10 employees is going to be easier and faster than buy in from 20,000.

Salary/Compensation
I’ve sometimes heard from people that small companies tend to pay less than large ones. I’ve found no evidence to support this. One of my favorite sources for salary research is payscale.com- which shows where the range of salaries lies for different positions and levels of experience, so that allows you to see what consists of ‘competitive salary’. When investigating the salaries offered by larger companies, they often post a salary range, and it’s not always necessarily in the top echelons of the average.

Having said that- I’ve interviewed for positions at smaller companies where the salary was far below average, but that was more to do with that company and its approach to compensation rather than its size. More on compensation in a future blog post!

Another thing about salary is that it doesn’t give the whole story from a compensation package. I know smaller companies with lunch days where they buy the company lunch at the launch of a project, take your dog to work, flexible hours, negotiable vacation days, and other things that go beyond the bottom line to make it a better place to work that don’t register on the T-4 slip at the end of the year and you’d never find in a cubicle farm.

In Conclusion
Smaller companies have a vibe that are all their own. If you’re down with the smaller company culture- chances are you’re not going to happy in a larger company, but if your experience is limited to larger companies- you might not be comfortable with the expectations put on you in a smaller company.

One thing’s for sure in smaller ones companies though they can give you challenges and opportunities that a larger company never can.

Thanks to John Murray who is eagerly awaiting a blog post on pizza.

Are you a Keeper?

2009-10-01T20:01:00.003+01:00

Customer Retention
When dealing with membership based offerings- subscription based services in the form of a gym or a mobile phone, or products in the form of term limited licensed software certain level of attrition is normal.

What the normal attrition (membership drop off) rate is- depends on the industry. What’s average for mobile phone service will not be average for a magazine subscription. This normal attrition is nothing to sweat. Consumer needs and tastes change and while your portfolio may contain a robust long view, how current day products and services match to current demand will fluctuate.

If due diligence reveals that your attrition rate is higher than average you need to improve your account management efforts. It’s always easier and more cost effective to retain a current client and make them happy than to win a new customer. Keeping the churn low is a way to minimize costs to your business unit. There is no standard ratio, but it’s generally accepted that retention (keeping a client or renewing their commitment) is far less expensive than acquisition (finding a new one).

So- how do you maximize your retention?

Honeymoon’s over!
Picking up the phone about 3-6 months after an install and just making sure they’re happy with you is easy and potentially lifesaving. Instead of waiting until the contract is coming up for renewal, touch base when the honeymoon period has worn off, and make sure you’re meeting their needs and are using your product. Remember to keep it in the client's interest- not your own. Your interest will come later (when they extend or renew). Right now- it's just about them.

Constant relationship care and feeding is essential to understanding and keeping ahead of those changes needs and demands.

By being proactive about meeting their solution needs, and how you handle it can instill a trust. A trust in the company, and a trust in the offering- that would be close to undillutable.

Upgrades
In the case of custom software, making small upgrades to the install will keep you top of mind with them. If it’s gratis, they will likely be thankful (if the upgrade or change has an impact on the function or benefits to them). Best approach to ask if they want the gratis upgrade; describe how it will affect them.

Upgrades on a gratis basis are intended to improve existing functionality or to overcome shortcomings. Upgrades which provide new functionality are a sales opportunity. Focus on continuous improvement as an enhancement to your product or service. Focus on value add in order to enhance sales.

Up sell
It’s easier to start with a barebones core solution, then approach the value add latter. Spreading out the development, or adding on the extras in a piecemeal fashion mitigates the risk in the customer’s mind that that they are making a mistake.

It’s easy to be more casual about the process behind up sells. Take the same approach as you would with a new sale. Do your needs analysis, prepare an Invoice or CO (Change Order)) and commit the changes to the next version of the master spec sheet.

Gracious Loser
Some companies have hoops they require their customers to go through to cancel services. The thought is make it harder to leave- people will stay! I remember a gym that required 2 months notice to cancel service, and you had to survive a pretty aggressive grilling by a Customer Service Representative.

You’re not doing your customer service any favors by making it harder for your clients to leave. The client will be annoyed, and in the chance they find themselves shopping in your market space again- your company will not meet the short list.

In Conclusion, proper account management goes beyond sending out a yearly Corporate Christmas card. If you can master taking care of your clients, you will not only reduce costs, but you’ll find that your referrals and up sells will increase as well, which is easy revenue.

Thanks to John Murray who told me he's listening to Muddy Waters.

The Manager's Oath

2009-09-29T21:08:00.002+01:00

The Manager’s Oath
I read an article in HBR last year about some professors at Harvard Business School who believe that the reputation of business practitioners has been tainted by the likes of Madoff, Enron and the masterminds of the Credit Crisis. In order to recover Brand Equity (reputation) they want MBA candidates to take management practitioners Oath; much like the Hippocratic Oath medical practitioners take.

The Oath (http://www.mbaoath.org) is a series of points that basically represents the some important ideals and the spirit that I’d like to think managers share- that is, honesty and integrity. Most managers I know realize the responsibilities they have go beyond just the shareholder returns. They understand the impact their practice has on the environment, on the legal system, their reputation, the social good and finally on the moral of their team.

The Dilemma
The client needed a feature rich extranet upgrade. They wanted to put a database online.
The project was scoped into 2 parts. Part 1 was working with the current database to extract it. Part 2 was the custom development and install on their servers.

The client lead the BA to a particular conclusion about the current database the company had to work with, which was the basis for the specs, which the Project Manager used to base the Project Estimate (and budget) on (the budget was based on man hour estimates).

The database was by no means as straight forward and simple as the client lead the BA to believe. As a result- Part 1 took a great deal longer than originally estimated. It was the PM and BA's suspicion that it was more than just a simple mistake - in order to get a lower cost for the development.

My friend was the PM. Once the client signed off on the contract, and the developers dug into the database, they quickly found out the size of the project was greatly misleading, and the database was deceptively complex. The hours for Part 1 estimates were quickly burned without the forward movement in the project that was expected. She felt obligated to make a Change Order to the client to re-estimate the amount of time was involved in Part 2, in order to cover the loss for Part 1.

Her developers found out about the Change order and project momentum was affected.

To be fair, once she sat her team down and explained the larger picture on why the obligation existed- that the client was being unfair with them, and as a result the project would be a loss, and that they’re not looking to gouge the client, just looking to make things up and be fair about things in the end, and just get what’s coming to them, the team was ultimately understanding and on board.

So- was that ultimately a violation of the oath? When considering that we have to look at which specific points it potentially violates.
1 Was it a violation of Integrity?
2 Was it a violation of Good faith?
3 Was it a violation of representing the performance of the enterprise?

Integrity
On one hand- it was not because the client drew first blood so to speak. While it could be inferred as two wrongs make a right, that’s a simplistic answer that doesn’t represent the complexity of the situation. The client did in fact mislead the company and that’s why the company was at a loss, and they weren’t looking to make any level of profitability beyond what they would extract if everyone was honest from the beginning.
On the other hand, my friend willfully lied to her client.

Good Faith
On one hand - I’m not certain it was a violation of the Good Faith. As I mentioned, the intent was for a level of profitability that would be derived from the outset of the project if everything was above board, and no more than that. She could have lied and gotten a higher level of profitability, but she chose not to.
On the other, she lied. She knew she was doing it. She sat down with the intention to lie to them.

Performance of the Enterprise
On one hand, Yes.
On the other, well- ok- there is no other.

In conclusion- Ethics and morality should be in someone’s everyday practice, in their personal and professional life. I’m not certain if having an oath will make a huge difference, but it certainly can’t hurt, and management professionals should start taking lengths to repair the brand equity in the eyes of the rest of society.

Thanks to John Murray who is awfully fond of oathing.

Determining Salary: Tips for Fair Value Compensation

2009-09-22T19:09:00.004+01:00

Salary
Salary represents something more visceral than simply the paycheck. To an employee it represents their imagined worth to the company. It’s a reflection of their perceived importance and seniority.

When calculating the salary you want to offer a potential candidate there are some things you can keep in mind.

Current Salary Comparison
Taking the current salary of the candidate and offering either a set amount (10 K) or percent (20%), is useful when trying to seduce a superstar away from their current gig. One potential hazard is that they could be exaggerating their current salary to get a sweeter deal. To quote Ronal Reagan: “Trust, but verify.” When speaking to their current or most recent employer as a referral, include verifying the salary they cited among the things you discuss with their old boss. If there’s a discrepancy- don’t take it personally (can’t blame a guy or gal for trying, right?), but set the offer compared to the true salary, not the quoted one.

Industry Standard
There are some extremely useful sites out there. www.payscale.com is one of my favorite resources for this. You put in a bunch of information including role, region, years of experience, education, qualifications, and what the job entails, and you get like for like comparison to other professionals.

Do your research. The offer should be around the 50th percentile of the scale. If the person’s expectations falls significantly above or below the average, you have to wonder if their duties were truly related to the job you’re considering them for.

If it’s a step up- there’s nothing to say they are not capable for the step up. Promotion by job movement is common, but you have to keep in mind they may be on a steeper learning curve.

It it’s a step down- you pose the risk that they may not stick around and will they take the next job that comes around which is more with on their career track. Of course- some people are willing to trade down a position and be demoted for more free time, or the right work environment, so ask the person about it in a non-confrontational way.

Ask
Ask for the salary of what the person wants, and then meet it. If they give a ballpark or range (which is what I usually do), offer the average of the low and high.

Performance Based Incentives
Bonuses based on performance go beyond commission for sales and revenues earned. More progressive models of compensation incorporate profit sharing and gain sharing (gain sharing refers to using company or business unit performance to determine bonuses beyond simple profit metrics. For example, it can be attached to increase in profit, cost management, QA etc…).

The interesting thing about performance based compensation is that it can be tied to business unit performance, or directly to the employee’s performance, or a mixture of the two. The important thing is to attach the metrics to things they directly have control over. In the case of where it’s based on a Likert scale style performance review, that the reviewer is going to be honest and fair in the numbers they’re selecting, and are not bumping up because they’re fond of the employee, or down because they’re not fond of them employee, and the numbers reflect personal feelings instead of performance of the employee.

You get what you pay for. If you compensate below what people are used to or feel they’re worth you risk two things: 1) Losing your best people to new jobs, or 2) having them lose their fire and motivation.

In summary, while it’s in the interest of business unit profitability to keep things lean, it’s antithetical to productivity of the employee. The highest quality candidates are always going to be more expensive, but worth every cent.

Thank-to-Editor: John Murray.

The Perils of Management Theory

2009-09-14T16:14:00.002+01:00

This weekend I am helping out at my Business School. The MBA World Tour is coming to my city and I am manning a booth set up by my program to recruit potential quality candidates.
It got me thinking of my MBA experience and how it related to my experience after graduation. Granted, I think my experience was exceptional because my school stressed practicum instead theory and always tied it into real world practice through discussion and case study analysis.

In theory, the models work perfectly. The buy in is unanimous, the transition smooth and the hiccups nonexistent. Reality, however, has proven that function should dictate structure and process and not the other way around. It’s important when applying models to keep them flexible enough to adapt when reality strikes.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that the MBA is a great experience and offers a fantastic experience for those seeking a wide (and not deep) review of the management body of knowledge. More importantly, it gives you exposure to best practice for management and depending on the format, exposure to other people’s views that you wouldn’t normally get (I was in a group with a Music historian, a manager of Non profits, an engineer, a banker, a geologist and a lawyer– talk about diverse points of view!).

Some take the approach of theory as the answer. This is a mistake. Theory as a method is a better approach. Instead of using pure theory as the tool for accomplishment, use it as a road map for milestones or for best practice. Things are different when you’re talking about adherence to law. When you let the model dictate the practice entirely, you not only open yourself to the risk of failing, but you also open yourself up being thought of as trapped in theorems and dazzled by the abstract, unable to bridge the gap between the text and the application.

In closing, remember that the reason you’re doing business is for the sake of the practice, not the sake of the theory. Make sure you read the theory, and let the models influence your practice, but don’t be afraid to bend or break the rules.

Special thanks, as always to my patient editor John Murray.

Fear and Loathing in the Boardroom

2009-09-04T21:24:00.001+01:00

Dealing with uncertainty in a Services Environment

Uncertainty can be a team killer. Economic contractions, while normal and to be assumed within expected events of the business cycle, can stifle the productivity of any team. In cases where the product or offering is specifically human based (i.e. services), the business unit can find itself suddenly running on no cylinders.

I’ve found employees crave security. The reason they are working for you instead of for themselves or going freelance is because of the security you can offer. The fact is they invest more than just their skills for the 40 hours/week they work. They invest their trust that the company will be able to afford to keep them on staff. This trust is shaken during economic downturns, or when rumors start hitting the cubicles of mergers, acquisitions or layoffs. Uncertainty basically equates to fear of the possible, increasing as that encounters the realm of the probable.

Ignorance is Bliss
I’ve been in companies that have been acquired. I was the first employee to know about it when it was still just a remote possibility, before any documents were even drawn up. We were in the middle of a couple of major projects, but I couldn’t let my team drop the ball as far as meeting deadlines go.

We compartmentalized the information so rumors wouldn’t start flying until the contract was signed. It was the right choice too. As soon as the team realized the company was being acquired, even if we had projects and work to do, the motivation just seeped out.
In these cases you keep as tight a lid on it as possible. If your team is scared, the business unit productivity is doomed.

Deal with the Gossip Girl
If the rumor mill starts going, it’s better to nip it in the bud and call a meeting. An open dialogue with the team that presents the actual facts may be in order. If their fears are warranted, and the rumors are true, but you need to keep them motivated, a gut reaction may be to lie, or at least put a fair amount of spin on the truth.
Here’s the potential problems with lying:

There are very few people who actually excel at lying. Most people have tells. You probably have a tell without knowing. If you lie to your team there’s a chance they won’t believe you.
If can pull off a good lie you will likely face significant fallout when the project ends and your team discovers the truth. Your credibility will be damaged and your ability to attract top talent in the future compromised.

A better approach may be to have the open dialogue where you address the facts and focus on keeping them motivated. Not all possibilities become probabilities. Applying some context to fears and placing uncertainty in its proper perspective will go a long way.

Motivation with loss of an Account
Tell them about other clients you’re working with and what work you see coming down the pipe from other clients.

Motivation with a slowdown of Work
Keep them from being idle with things that help the company that aren’t necessarily billable. Internal Projects, R&D, and skill upgrades are only possible when a client isn’t throwing a fit in the corner because they need a project completed tomorrow, so look at this as an opportunity to do necessary housekeeping and sell it to the team members that same way.

Motivation with an Economic Downturn
They are probably inundated with doom and gloom from news sources during a bear market. Don’t just tell them they have no reason to worry without qualification. Use examples, such as clients who are economic stalwarts (aren’t affected much by downturns or upturns), hedges (who are experiencing a boom in bad times, such as tech in this economy) and bellwethers (the first reactors to economic activity- to show that the tough spot may soon be over). This will show that the company is not in jeopardy, and they are not at risk of losing their job.
And in the end- if you have no choice but to lay them off…

Motivation before an Exit
Tap your network trying to find them a new job, and do what you can to make sure they still have an income after things end with you. If you’ve done everything you can then do promise outplacement help and glowing recommendations.

In conclusion- Management in good times is hard enough. Management when facing challenges is downright tricky. Remember that despite the stress it’s not good for anyone if you take out that stress on your team. Try to remember to smile and always speak positively to your team, management and clients.

Special Thanks to John Murray.

Mature Markets and Competition

2009-08-26T17:07:00.010+01:00

Mature markets are characterized in part by perfect competition. That implies a certain replaceable element at it’s base, which never actually materializes, because the management of the company invariably tries to differentiate itself using

Pricing
Value Added

Keep in mind- these are not pure mature market conditions which involve zero barriers to entry, is characterized by high turnover, and requires little to no specialized skill.

The effort put toward services differentiation will bear little fruit unless customers can be convinced this will add value for their purchase. A message needs to be delivered that the value you offer will achieve benefits above other offerings.

Implementation of this message is easier said than done. You have to cover everything from the company letterhead, advertising materials, and elevator pitches down to the customer experience on your premises or the quality of your product and even the packaging to reflect this differentiation.

Remember part of the customer experience includes human interface. Make sure you’re properly training the right people for not only sales, but also customer support roles and they understand the message they have to convey to the client for the differentiation to work properly.

Pricing
While commoditization of a product or service allows for a decrease in unit cost for production and employs economies of scale- (lower unit cost for the same quality) companies hesitate to drop the price to compete solely on pricing alone because that starts a pricing war and it becomes a race to the bottom which makes neither you, nor your substitutors happy.

Value Added
What companies often do instead of competing on price alone is change their product or offering, so it’s not a perfect substitution anymore. Whether it’s adding new features or support, companies have found that tapping their R&D department to churn out new offerings provides a more sustainable and commercially healthy endeavor, while still keeping with the ethos of competition.

In conclusion- remember another characteristic of Mature markets; razor thin profit margins. If you find yourself in a mature market game, best approach is to change the rules through innovation, or using your current operating revenues to move into a less crowded space.

With special thanks to John Murray.

Production Capacity for Services.

2009-08-19T14:36:00.010+01:00

Production capacity in services based offerings at the low end of the skills spectrum has commodity aspect where demand can be measured through historic metrics. Capacity expansion can be satisfied through relatively inexpensive and easy to acquire resourcing. This is especially true during the down side of the business cycle.

Where the nature of demand places pressure on capacity fulfillment capabilities involving higher order skills, employee turnover and production expansion become increasingly expensive. This is especially true where the skills in demand are scarce. The obvious dynamic encompasses a formula where the higher the level of specialized skill, the more scarce qualified candidates are the more expensive turnover or capacity growth becomes. The business environment will contribute to the cost of this labor in that an up side will result in higher demand and drive resource costs higher. A down side will not likely dampen costs due to the highly specialized nature of the demand.

When discussing services such as manual and semi-skill based labor transferability of skill is achieved with near zero investment. Filling a stock order in one warehouse is pretty much like filling the order in another. Pushing a broom is pretty much the same wherever you go. The skill required to achieve the task is almost perfectly transferable, and it’s easily replaceable.

On the other side of the coin there are the perfectly untransferable knowledge and skills. These require resources possessing a high degree of specialization and intellectual capital, grown at great cost to the company or institution. These resources are unique to the demand and culture and while turnover risk is minimized due to the high precision match of skills to demand, there are few options outside of the local business unit to acquire similar contributors. They are extremely difficult, if not impossible to replace.

And chances are, most of us lie somewhere in between.

Having a background in IT, and leading IT teams, I’ve sometimes been in the situation where a project drops out of the blue on my desk with speed constraints or skills requirements that exceed our current production capacity (our current full time in house team).

In those situations- it’s great to have a current list of freelancers whose skills you trust. One of the problems with freelancers is quality standards. While there are certainly some freelancers out there who do great work, and have established themselves time and time again to get it right the first time, when dealing with a new freelancer, I’ve found I often need to round off the edges.

Despite the possible deterioration of quality (the risk can be mitigated through adequate testing), freelancers can be a complement to the team. For that reason they often work well as a complement, but the risk is reestablished if they’re used as a replacement instead of complement.
Freelancers are best when used to:

Provide skills outside the current team core competency.
Make the production capacity more flexible to increase the speed of delivery on a project, and then reduce the speed after it’s delivered.
Help achieve ROI more aggressively

For a value added service, for example, in providing a skill outside your current team core competency as a favor for a client or a one off, it makes no sense on the bottom line to keep that person on staff.

For ramping up capacity to meet an aggressive delivery schedule, while the skills are probably not perfectly irreplaceable, depending on how specialized the skill is or experienced the employee is, it becomes more so. You also run the risk of that freelancer becoming unavailable at some point. This is a greater risk than if they were employed full time and permanently, but it's not advisable to bring them on full time just to have them available, because a high specialized, highly paid employee who's not active on a project is a serious and chronic drain on the business unit.

In terms of ROI- There's a a level of specialized skill or seniority or just competence that the freelancer can offer. I've been in the situation where a project required specialised skill in a specialised technology on a specialised project. My in house developer- a talented employee to be sure was familiar with the project and knew what had to be done and quoted 30 hours for this functionality because it was in a programming language that was outside his specialised skill. The other option was a freelancer who was an expert in that language and estimated 10 hours- plus 5 to get up to speed on the project. Even if the freelancer's rate was double the developer's (it wasn't) it would have made sense to the project ROI to use the freelancer (all other things including overhead being equal- which they weren't as freelancers usually work remotely compared to employees who utilise resources.

In closing, Freelancers can provide a way for small companies to become more agile in terms of skills and capacity without severely compromising the bottom line, but they are not without their risks.

Special Thanks to John Murray.

Internal Marketing

2009-08-14T15:00:00.000+01:00

I talked with a business guy yesterday about communication. He specializes in internal communication- that is communication which is important for employees to not only have access to, but be attuned to pay attention to. What was also interesting was that his company did marketing, and I realized this communication is a form of marketing. You need the consumers (your employees) to buy the product (put the policy into practice on the front lines).

This is a common problem with large companies- the disconnect between the ivory tower (corporate headquarters making the decision) and the front lines (who actually have to put those ivory tower concepts into practice)!

Keep in mind- the Ivory tower is often seen as out of touch with the front lines. There’s a reason that “Bullshit runs downhill” is an adage- because seemingly asinine proclamations are handed down by people the front line people have never met from a headquarters they’ve never been to. Add to the fact that customers (bless their hearts) can frustrate the hell out of the best of us, and you get the ultimate recipe for feeling disenfranchised and skepticism – and skeptics are the worst targets for marketing.

Keep in mind- they have some incentive to put the policy into practice – performing well at their job, but do you want someone who grudgingly adopts a policy- or someone who is enthused, energized and buys into it?

Client Service Reps or front line workers (including sales staff) have the biggest impact on the B2C experience- more than any multi-channel global million dollar ad campaign ever can. Taking a fraction of your operating budget and putting it towards a campaign to target your employees and get them excited about new products, services, policies, or offers will not only impact your bottom line from a experience quality perspective , but a cost perspective as well.

The Story of Passover: Modernized and Abridged

2009-04-07T18:09:00.001+01:00

By Mike Iseman.

Long long long long long long ago- the Egyptians had Sweat shops and made the Israelis work in them for slave wages putting together Gucci Bags and Nike Shoes and Levi Jeans. One day- one of the seamstresses had a child- and she didn't want him working in the sweat shop, so she hid him in the sewer- where the boss man's daughter was scoring blow.
She saw this kid floating down the sewer and was all "What a cute kid!" and adopted him and her boss man dad was all "You can't have a kid!!!" and she was all "But look at how cute he is!" and he was like "Yes. He's cute. He can stay!" and raised him as his own and he grew up under the name Mosey.

One day Mosey was smoking some chronic when suddenly his joint started talking to him. He just thought there was some weird stuff in the chronic, until the joint proved it was God. The joint told him he's an Israeli, and has to liberate his people from the sweat shops.

So he went to his boss man dad and said "Let my people go!" and boss man said "Um. Maybe not." so Mosey called him a douche and left.

The next day- he came back and said "Let my people go or my joint will pull mad shit!
1) Gang members (Blood)
2) French Tourists (Frogs)
3) Crabs (Lice)
4) Mosquitoes (Flies)
5) Undercooked Burgers (Murrain)
6) Acne (Boils)
7) Crappy weather (Hail)
8) Taxes (Locusts)
9) Loss of Electricity- so No TV, no XBox, no Internet (darkness)
10) Dropping the Blackberry in the toilet (Death of the first born son)

So- Boss man was like "Go screw yourself!"
and the plagues started- and soon boss man realized just how much deep shit he was in, and said "Fine! The Israelis can leave!" so they started packing to get the hell out of there fast before Boss man changed his mind. They knew they wouldn't have time to stop for food on the way and started packing lunches and placing orders from Take out- but the only place that would deliver that fast was The Indian restaurant with awesome Tikka Misala- but their Naan bread kinda sucked. I mean- it really sucked! It was brutal. It was like cardboard! Tasteless! Crunchy. Like a really bad cracker- but they were fast.

So the indian place delivered and the Israeli's escaped and so every year for 7 days we eat awful naan bread to commemorate our liberation from the sweat shops!

Happy 2008

2008-01-01T16:11:00.000Z

Well,

Let's try this whole blog thing again. I figure it's a shame to waste my interesting and amusing insights on my friends and family only.

Besides- They've stopped listenning.

I've never needed a date of the year to resolve to improve myself, so my new years resolutions will just to continue to try to be the best me I can be.

Some of my resolutions I actually think are pretty fun- like in April I decided to start dressing better. I stated moisturizing again, got some new duds, and just started taking better care of my outwards appearance. It's just part of being the best me I can be.

Other resolutions are less fun- but pretty necesary like not taking everything so personally. I'm pretty good at rolling with the punches, and I'm getting pretty good at not taking things personally- but still...

And other things are just overdue- like resolving to be more organized. (Who the hell wants a disorganized Project Manager??? What good is her or she?)

My life's a pretty good place right now. I feel pretty happy and blessed. Things aren't perfect, but they never ever ever are.

Happy New Year and may 2008 bring you all success, joy and health.

Post MBA Job

2007-02-19T13:04:00.000Z

It’s been a while since I made an update to the blog, and I apologize for that. I have had a hell of a time finding a job… that’s not to say that it’s finding a job is hard, but I guess more specifically- it’s the right job that’s elusive. A couple of false starts would have gotten me down if I had any less spirit and optimism, I might have gotten discouraged, but I applied the methodology and process of finding a job, and stuck with it.

First- the false starts and processes:

liI never passed up an opportunity to interview for a position, even if it was something I wasn’t sure would be a right fit- it can’t hurt to meet new people and expand my network.
It also provided the opportunity to practice my interviewing skills, so I would appear relaxed and smooth when in an interview in an interview I want and the heat’s on. OK- I’ll never be smooth, but… smooth for me.

The false starts included a company where the CEO and I had a great rapport. He made me an offer, then he changed the offer to a contract which he assured me would flip into a permanent role in the new year (this was early December). Three days later- he said he had a talk with his management team, and they overruled him- they want someone with more sector experience.

Another one- a completely bizarre one- I had 3 interviews and they were clearly excited and thought it was a great fit, but before they make an offer, they be perfectly sure that we were all on the same page. So they asked for a quick project consisting of a paper just outlining what I’d do in my tenure in the role. I spent a few days on it, not a big deal, and sent it on. They got back to me quickly saying they were very impressed, and it was exactly what they had in mind as far as the role and duties and goals were. At this point- given the context I’m thinking “Great. Next meeting- they’re giving me an offer!” and we schedule an interview for the following Wednesday when the CEO is in town from London. Just to be sure, I send an email asking “What are the next steps for the application?” thinking the answer would be “We’re giving you an offer” or “We’re squaring things away with bookkeeping so we can scrounge up the money for your salary.” Or even “We’re looking at one last other candidate- it might come down to a death match… will advise soon. Thanks for your patience!” but no- their response was “We’re meeting in town with Vendors, and we’ll get back to you regarding time and place after we confirm with them.”

So- the next Monday comes around and no word from them. Next Tuesday comes around- the day before the interview is supposed to take place, and still nothing, so I call and it goes through to voice mail after the receptionist transfers me. So- I send an email… and no response. Over the next few days and week, I called a number of times, despite the assurance from the receptionist that the CEO knows I’ve been trying to get in touch. And the emails all remain unanswered- as if thrown into some bottomless void.

It’s now been over a month later- and I still haven’t heard from them! I gave up trying.

And another company- we had a few good interviews and they give me an offer over email detailing the role and the goals and objectives of the role. I send an email back agreeing to the role and goals and asking for the compensation package they’re offering. That was over a week and a half ago and I didn’t hear from them again.

It’s now down to 2 jobs I’ve gotten offers for. Both are amazing dream jobs that I’d be very very happy in. I’ll have to make a tough decision, but I’ll be sure to inform you, kind bloggites of my decision and details on both jobs and my final decision and the reason I chose which I chose.

Life afer the MBA

2006-12-06T10:57:00.000Z

I am on the cusp on post-MBA employment. After a respite to recouperate after my intense journey, I am likely going to be getting a job offer now. I've been interviewing for similar roles at different companies- Senior managment doing Product and Marketing Management and Business Development mixture. It's actually really interesting and feel up to the task.

Besides that- I completed the Dublin Marathon in fine form and am seriously considerring running the Paris Marathon in April. I've actually already started training for it. I am running a road race this weekend. They are opening a new underground 5K tunnel from the Bay to the Airport, so the race takes place to the oposite end of the tunnel and back.

I feel transformed through my MBA experience. Now that I've had some time to reflect and digest on the experience and am engaging with others in a business capacity, I can feel the changes. I think the big change is with my business confidence. The interviews feel less like interviews and more like friendly chats where we try to see if there's a fit. Kinda like a first date... except while the people on the other side of table are very nice, I frankly hope none of these dates ajourn with a kiss.

As promised in my previous post- here are some hot pictures of me completing the Dublin marathon.

Marks, Running and Sitting on my ass eating chinese...

2006-10-25T10:50:00.000+01:00

Long over do post here. Bad blogger. Bad bad blogger.

I got my marks for the second and third semesters, as suspected- I am getting my sheepskin. I'm not going to sit here and boast about my grades, because I think that would just be tacky- but suffice to say- I'm largely satisfied with my efforts, and feel that the marks reflected that effort accurately.

Next week I am running in the Dublin Marathon. I'm the picture of psychedness! We'll see if my time reflects the effort I've put in here too. I won't talk about the time I'm shooting for, because I could totally miss it and come in way over that time, which would make me just look stupid- but I'll post pics as soon as I get them.

My father and I used to watch his favorite show together on Tuesdays. Grumpy Gibbs and the Dead Marines show- also known as NCIS. I download the episodes and watch them on my computer, and I think my father would enjoy this season. I watch the episodes and think of him. We'd get Chinese Take out from Kum Jug Yeun, watch NCIS and argue about who did it. We'd always have it cracked by the 2nd commercial. Now on a different continent and a year later- I get my Chinese take out from Mars, watch NCIS and fondly remember our hashing out who did it and why before Gibbs gets his Gut Instinct.

New Year

2006-09-19T10:35:00.000+01:00

The Year is starting anew this Saturday, and that means time to start reflecting and atoning for my transgressions this past year.

Now- I have largely kept out of trouble because the MBA tends to do that, and I'm not about to start airing dirty laundry on public web space- but I just wanted to say to - you know who you are- and you know what I did- I'm very very sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you- I feel terrible that I did and I can only offer my most sincere and humble apologies and unconditional contrition.

A number of people have asked me what I'm doing for RH this year and given 1) I don't have family here and 2) that there are no Jews here in Dublin to celebrate with (whoops- I mean with whom to celebrate). I thought I met one other Jew once, but as it turns out it was just a leprechaun with a funny hat. I'll probably just get Chinese take out and gnaw on some Apples and Honey and watch Curb Your Enthusiasm. Now that's what I call a happy new year... or at least a very amusing one.

Convert

2006-08-23T11:07:00.000+01:00

While living overseas, it's been difficult to obtain Canadian new papers. Of course I check Globeandmail.com daily, but I've been forced to rely on other dailies for a physical paper experience.

In the MBA office, we have two papers available- Financial Times (a very good newspaper) and Wall Street Journal - Europe Edition (An exceptional newspaper).

At first- I just really liked the fact the FT has an MBA section every Monday, and it's pink! PINK I tell you! But then it struck me a few months ago- I prefer The Wall Street Journal.

So I did a little research on this paper that has captured my interest- apparently- when a study was done of top Dailies, WSJ was found to score as the most Liberal of them.

I did a little more research- it's got the highest salaried readership (big surprise there) in the US.

I did a little more research- The Globe and Mail offers the WSJ to be delivered daily with your G&M paper... Now-when I get back- if I can only get the WSJ and not the G&M - or will that just sound to the poor drone taking the order "One Chicken Tikka sandwich, hold the Chicken, please."

Moving Day

2006-08-22T16:48:00.000+01:00

I've been living in a cramped Hovel for my grad school. It's super nice, but it's small and the common area is filthy.

Now that I'm done grad school, I'm getting kicked out, so I'm moving. I looked at one bedroom apartments downtown and I selected one that suits me. I'll probably grow to love it- I'm still a little unsure... I AM excited about it though and very confident!

I'm also getting Internet put in, but it'll, take a few weeks, according to the Internet company so I'll blog more then.

It's in the old Jewish neighborhood of Dublin called Portobello. I bought book called "Dublin's Little Jerusalem" that's about the area in 1910-1950 (I haven't read it yet, though), but no- my decision to move there wasn't solely based on the Jewish factor. It's a very cool neighborhood, centrally located, safe and quiet. It should be interesting.

Oh- and by the way- Helloshen, Nikki.

Is it really over????

2006-08-21T10:04:00.001+01:00

I distinctly remember how this entire journey started.

In 2002, I started dating a lovely woman who I absolutely adored, and while she adored me, she also had the ear of her mother who was unsure of my future career prospects, so said girlfriend started putting pressure on to go back to school and get my MBA.

When we broke up after a very close 9 months- I was heartbroken and yet, despite my depression and grief- relieved that I wouldn't have to do my MBA. I actually remember being giddy about it while walking down the path from her house to my car that cold night in March 2003.

Fast forward about 4 months- I was dating again (after a brief month or two period of just healing) and I started seeing a wonderfully energetic and enthusiastic brilliant woman with an MBA from Kellogg- a top US University. We didn't date for long, but she gave me more insight into the MBA world, and I was more than intrigued by the real story of it.

I was scared to death of the GMAT- the standardized test which included multiple choice questions on Math and English, and soon put down some coin for a popular 8 week course in GMAT success. (It helped- but it did take me 3 tries over the next 7 months to get a score I was happy with).

After a round of hurriedly applying to schools and getting dinged for several, and accepted to a few, I decided to keep working and get more management experience and apply the following year.

During that year- I got some excellent management experience- but I certainly felt the need to get more business skills. Accounting, Finance, Strategy, OB!!!! I also started dating a great girl with whom I fell head over heals... She admits she never gave the relationship a chance because I was planning on going away for my MBA the following year. Go Fig.

The next October I had my short list and this time- I didn't rush the applications. I took my time and it paid off- they were better schools, harder to get into, and I got into all that I applied to.

The following September I left my cozy American existence (Since moving to Europe I started referring to Canada as America) to live overseas for the first time ever.

It was a rigorous process! 100 hour work weeks! Threats of 40% attrition in some classes (I passed them all) and stress levels beyond anything I or my classmates were familiar with...

In the end though... I learned so much. I've had a blast, made life long friends, and have accomplished something that no one can take away from me.

I sit now with the second draft of my final project open. Inside 60 seconds I can email it off to the Professor and my MBA will all be behind me except the cap and gown ceremony.

It's been the most difficult year of my life for a couple of reasons. I had to part with a woman I really cared about and move on, I had to move to a continent where I didn't know anyone, and because of cultural differences they didn't get my jokes, and I lost my father and my grand mother (and the follow up from that is one big mess, but that's another story). Putting it all in context- the loss of my father and Bubby was of course the hardest.

I feel so much stronger. I feel capable, confident and well equipped to do serious damage. I feel like I can take on anything. I don't get intimidated by the prospect of failure anymore, and have felt like I (I appologize about the trite sentiments) have found myself.

Wow. It's been 3 years in the making- is this really how it finishes? Not with fanfare and cartwheels but with Phillip Glass softly playing in the background and a subdued "Click"

Cool.

Old, Cranky and Gay

2006-07-10T13:55:00.000+01:00

Well- after repeated requests to revitalize my blog, I've decided my fan base has spoken, so I'm putting it back into publication. This is the first of many entries that will bring you up to speed with what's been happening over the past 2 months.

The whiskers are long gone and I'm back to full speed in my studies... but not for long- I have a few more weeks of projects and essays and then I'm done my MBA entirely

I'm completing my assignment for B2B marketing- I'm having writer's block writing a value statement for a home gym (weights station and treadmill) versus a membership at a fitness club. I've crunched the numbers and of course and the home gym comes out on top for the scope of the project which asses the Value In Use of the product.

This semester in my two electives- Sales Force Management and B2B marketing I contributed to class discussion referring to the place where you can still see old school closing (read Zig Ziggler hard close approaches) at work- in any fitness club.

The context is dichotomous to say the least- the fitness club industry is a mature market- highly competitive, price driven, with intense capital investment (real estate and expensive equipment) which would defend pure hard close techniques employed. However, it also has elements of emerging markets- that is a user base that's growing, a distinct value differentiation, and limited brand significance; which suggests value based selling techniques would be more suitable.

Additionally- it's a membership based business model with recurring fees as opposed to one-off, which is also the place for value driven sales techniques.

I've had nightmarish experience with membership coordinators getting pushy, using all sorts of old school closing techniques (the alternate close, the Ben Franklin, the Assumptive close, the Puppy Dog) and then try the good old "Criticize the other person's training program" approach and when that fails- try to rip me off.

So- that's where the problem emerges- the client needs an emerging market soft close for piece of mind, but economics of the industry requires management to impose strict quota and mature market sales approaches.

I also completed an essay this weekend applying McGregor's theories of management technique to real world examples. Ubiquitously known as Theory X and Theory Y management techniques tie in psychology and sociology of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Very interesting stuff- even if pure application of Theory X and Theory Y is rarely going to be effective- I tried to prove in my essay the places where strong Theory X or Theory Y heavy management would give the best results.

I did a project on Apple for Business Policy. Over the course of the research- I must say that Apple lost some of it's luster. I didn't know that Apple had so many issues! I guess that's the benefit of having only 5% of the market- your serious issues can fly under the radar, and the brand loyalty is so strong- a cult-like bond that the customers over look the problems. I guess that's love for ya!

I also am doing a project for Financial Statement Analysis. We have a guy in the class who got hired by McKinsey consulting, and circulated the McKinsey model for valuations. I applied it to the financial documents of my company and I got some strange results- so I double checked the model... Then I realized I was actually applying the Kinsey model, not the McKinsey model.

I guess that explained why it said my company was 2/3 gay.

Worst week

2006-05-22T09:10:00.000+01:00

Two weeks ago was the hardest week of my life.
I was expecting it to be tough with exams, but I wasn't expecting anything like this...

I've been having trouble with my SIM card in my phone; for some reason I couldn't take calls from overseas. When I woke up on Monday morning and turned on my cell phone, I had 15 messages waiting, but because they were from overseas I couldn't hear them. There was one from my sister in Germany telling me that I have to call home immediately. I tried getting onto skype, but couldn't, so decided I'd deal with it later and got ready to go to my Strategic management exam.

Then right before I was about to turn off my phone and go to the exam- my sister called me. She broke the news- my father had a heart attack the day before and died.

My father was a young man. He was 62. He was fit- he ran a number of times a week. He ate very healthy, he took Ezetrol and Lipitor to control his cholesterol levels. This was the last thing I was expecting. So I cried for about 10 minutes- then booked a flight to London and then to Toronto. The flight to Shanghai was 10 hours, this one was only 7; but it felt like the longest plane ride of my life.

I got in at 830 Toronto time- which was about 130 am in my jet lagged brain, and three of siblings, my mother, my step mother and my uncle were there. We were all still in shock and crying.

Tuesday we finally figured out where he was going to buried. That was a horrible experience because there was contention on where (for various reasons I won't get into). But we finally agreed to bury him in a Jewish cemetery near his family. 4 rows up from his father. 5 rows up from his grandmother. My eldest sister arrived that evening with her husband son and daughter.

Wednesday we viewed the body. That was heart wrenching- but cathartic. He was in a Jewish burial shroud- and he looked peaceful. Peaceful like when he fell asleep watching a movie with me. He was pale and his eyelids were crimson. He had his trademark salt and pepper mustache but it just didn't look like my father- until we pulled the shroud back so we could see his hair... Yep- it was the old man alright (old man was my nick name for him).

Thursday was the funeral. In the cemetery during the burial there it was cold and raining really hard. I got soaked, but I just didn't care. We lowered him into the ground- I said the Kaddish. The sounds of the clumps of muddy dirt we threw on the pine casket was deafening and heart breaking. The rabbi warned us it would be one of the most difficult sounds we'll ever hear- Man- She was right on that one.

The condolence calls (shiva) at the house afterwards was very nice. We had it catered by my father's favorite food boutiques. I was still soaked and I still didn't care. It was so nice that the house was packed with his friends and family. People from his running group, colleagues, and fellow members of his yacht club.

Friday we had more condolence calls. Cards, flowers, and phone calls continued to pour in. I got myself into the zone- shut my grief down with all my might and went to a job interview (which went well). I also went to shul for kabbalat shabbat and said kaddish. I sat at the back until Lecha Dodi, and then was officially greeted back into the congregation. That was very moving, but cathartic.

Saturday- the cards, flowers and phone calls started to taper off. We had far fewer visitors, and all my family started the grieving process on our own.

They've been such a great support to me. I really am glad and feel so blessed that I have them to help me, and I'm glad I can try to support them too.

I was the first one to leave. I left last Thursday evening to return to Ireland to write my exam in Corporate Finance. I feel guilty about leaving, but I also know that there is no feelings of abandonment from my sisters, my mother, or my mother in law.
I think I nailed my exam though. Old man would be proud.

Rest in Peace Old man.

Love and Money in the online world

2006-05-04T09:27:00.000+01:00

JDate is an institution for Toronto jews looking for a besheret (that's 'soul mate' for the Ivrit- uninclined... like me). Truth be told- It's how I met my Beady Eyed friend, but I won't hold that against JDate.

I was doing some International Business Studying the other day by reading the business section of Ha'aretz online and they had an article about the performance of Spark Networks (the proprietors of JDate). A pdf copy of the article is here.

Now- it probably comes of little surprise that I have an interest in technology, and particularly the performance of online companies. It's my opinion that the online world is no longer an emerging market- in fact, for online companies, it's a mature market (saturated, fierce competition, high branding equity value, minimal barriers to access and egress- in a lot of ways, a great deal like perfectly competitive environments; at least in theory). Specifically- Sparks Network could be considered beyond just the scope of industry to the scope of target, which would make them a B2C service- which traditionally is entitled to a higher gearing ratio, however, they are also an online company, which typically characterized by lower gearing ratios.

Additionally- while the data in the article is minimal, it was apparent that in order to cover the increase of COGs, it has 3 options; 1) Shoestring 2) Debt finance 3) Equity Finance.

Given that it just went through some rounds of equity- and shoestringing can cripple any growing company, the last option is Long Term Debt

I don't know. I just found it really interesting. Where's Harvard to make a business case when you really one?

Oops Management

2006-05-02T11:01:00.000+01:00

Who the heck came up with term Transcendent approaches to quality control???

And even more importantly- can I come up with a good Acronym for Garvin's 8 Dimensions of Quality?
Feedback is appreciated- remember- the more colorful it is, the easier it will be for my brain to retain and regurgitate during the exam.

The 8 Dimensions are Performance, Features, Reliability, Conformance, Durability, Serviceability, Aesthetics and Perceived Quality.

The Service Quality Dimensions are probably more relevant to the exam...
Assurance Empathy, Tangibles Reliability and Responsiveness. (A case analysis of Exel implementation of logistics software).

A Biting Pain

2006-04-24T16:12:00.000+01:00

I am training for a half-marathon.
No- really. I haven't decided which one, but I finally found a tool in Google Earth that allows the user to measure a path on the map- so I've been mapping my runs and lo and behold- I've been running half-marathon distances on the weekend anyways- so now I'm just trying to get faster!

I was all eager and gun ho until last week when I developed a sprain! But luckily- I am not worried about losing any training due to it because I have sprained... my tooth.

I just got back from the dentist because my tooth was bugging me lately, and she poked and prodded and couldn't understand why I was having pain until she asked the million dollar question: "Did you bite down on anything hard lately?" I had in fact chomped down on a popcorn kernel that was unpopped last week and apparently- it can sprain your tooth.

Her advice- ibuprofen and rest it- but no slings or tensor bandages :P

If you do want to track my progress training for the half marathon- check out my runner blog care of the cool technology at coolrunning.com.

Alterative Economies

2006-04-18T13:51:00.000+01:00

http://oneredpaperclip.blogspot.com/
A young man barters a red paper clip for a fish pen, bartered for a smiley doorknob, bartered for a Coleman gas stove, bartered for a generator, bartered for a keg and neon sign, bartered for a Skid00, bartered for a trip to Yahk, bartered for a truck, bartered for studio time, bartered for a rent-free year in an apartment in Phoenix.

This is a terrific example of barter economy, and arguments both for and against it. In the case of for, it shows that capital influx is possible in barter based economies, showing that it is sustainable- or does it? While there is no universal (monetary) value for the item; the impetus to trade would be a perceived value added prospect that the item being traded has an additional value. Can value- even if it is perceived value and not universal really sustain? The term for increased monetary value is deflation, and it's quite rare.

A yearly event takes place in Black Rock Desert, Nevada on the Playa (Spanish for beach). This event called the Burning Man festival is an example of gifting economies. While black market barter does take place- it's forbidden by the organizers. This gift economy is interesting, but how sustainable is it, really? Won't bartering naturally evolve from it very quickly as merchants get taken advantage of? Can our sense of fulfilling our economic duty really outweigh our innate greed? Is greed really innate or is it simply nurtured by our capitalist economy? What's the next evolution of economics?

Do you understand him?

2006-04-10T14:46:00.000+01:00

In Shanghai I got myself a little treat.

I picked up DVD disks at dirt cheap prices. I got 24 season 1-4 and The West Wing Season 1-6. I like watching television while I eat dinner dinner, so I pop in a DVD and watch an episode before getting back to work.

It's interesting how each show illustrates effective management techniques.

With Jack Bauer- he personifies effective delegation techniques. He tells people exactly what he needs, and tells them why when possible. When it's not possible- he always apologizes and tells them why he can't go into details. He then verifies his instructions are clear by asking "Do you understand me?" which has become a catch phrase of his. He always remembers to say please and thank you- and no matter how hairy things get or how little time he has, he only takes it out on his staff if he's undergoing heroin withdrawal.

In the West Wing; Leo (the President's Chief of Staff) always has his office door open to his staff. He has the staff's trust as well as their respect and friendship because he's earned it. He gives others the benefit of the doubt, forgives honest mistakes quickly and challenges people to push the envelope of their own performance by sometimes playing 'bad cop'.

So- I guess it could be argued that the time away from books is productive... maybe I should be watching more TV- It might make me a more effective manager.

Danger in Dublin

2006-04-05T12:36:00.001+01:00

Last month there was a spate of riots in Downtown Dublin after a Unionist demonstration marching down the street was blocked by a counter-demonstration by Irish Republicans (Not be confused with U.S. Republicans who incense the world by voting for George W.).

This month- a Sinn-Fein official was tortured and murdered, and it is believed it is politically motivated. Now- Despite being in Ireland and trying my best to keep up- and even getting case studies for class about the subject- I frankly find myself lost confused and totally uninformed of Irish Politics (including Northern Irish, and Anglo-Irish).

All I know is that if riots start getting more frequent and bombs start going off, I'm going to have to move to some place safer... like Basra, Scarborough or Mogadishu.

After my sister inspired me by going all the way to a neighboring town to attend Erev Shabbat services, I decided to finally go find a Dublin shul. I found one, and finally figured out the travel methods using public transport. Even though my sister's shul is much farther from her house, She has a quicker travel time, lower end cost and fewer connections.

I am still very doubtful I can keep Pessach-dikkah this year, but I have kept Sephardic rules for Pessach in the past couple of years (yes grains, no yeast; Yes rice and beans, no pasta or bread)- and as far as a seder goes- I'll just attend two of them next year, like I did last year!

Danger in Dublin

2006-04-05T12:36:00.000+01:00

Germany- The Good, The Bad, and the Tasty.

2006-04-03T10:20:00.000+01:00

Germany was great! It was definitely a great atmosphere in some ways, and ultra-creepy in other ways.

The good: the culture is extremely friendly, sincere, , polite and even playful. The food was incredible- plentiful and cheap. :P mmmmmm! Wurst, sushi and ice cream! Delish!

The bad: My sister and I stumbled on a neo-nazi rally. There's something about someone screaming in German into a megaphone that's... well... freakish. We also went and toured a concentration camp Buchenwald... less of a concentration camp and more of a death camp, actually. A camp for POW's in WWII, and Jewish children and youths. The camp was complete with on-site crematorium for their body disposal needs. That was heavy. Even thinking of it now- I get this thing in the pit of my stomach that feels a little like it's been socked.

Thinking of the neo-nazi rally- I can't really think of anything else to say other than simply creepy. I mean- there was a huge group of anarchists protesting the nazis, and trying to drown them out with whistles and shouts, but the simple fact that it's back... It's alarming and disconcerting. It honestly scares me not that they can be allowed to congregate; it scares me that they exist at all! It scares me that people think that way. It is arguably human nature; xenophobia and jingoism are constants through out history (in sinusoidal degrees of visibility or impact)- but I still cannot accept, condone or excuse it.

Oh yeah- and I stopped in Frankfurt on the way back from Weimar to the Airport. I should have listened to everyone. There is nothing to see in Frankfurt.

Back from Germany

2006-03-31T12:40:00.000+01:00

Pictures are worth a Thousand words.

I don't have time to write 27000 words.

www.flickr.com

The Shanghai Defence

2006-03-21T09:39:00.000Z

Comment from yesterday's post:

ok, but what about the fact that production is based on sweatshop conditions, that susbsistence for the general population is abysmal and that china's record on the environment is horrific. why do business with a country that should be morally and ethically denigrated because of their human rights infractions? isn't it better to make a buck somewhere else than to encourage that kind of system by rewarding it with business? ... just wondering... -B

That's a very good issue that you brought up, and I'm glad you did, because it is something that's important for us to keep in mind.

First- in regards to the subsistence for the general population, China is no different from any other developing nations through out the world. All countries that aren't first world economically prosperous countries, and in order to help bring in parity of economic equality, the country has to achieve significant economic levels of production and employment, levels of GNP and GDP, and FDI. Doing business in China and any developing world actually helps them achieve these levels. If we were to make them pariahs, and cut them out of our little 'economic club' in the west, it would do much more harm than good.

Now, as far the environmental and human rights record of China; I was impressed with the concern of the companies for the environment. All of the corporate promotion videos we saw featured a section on environmental concerns, so businesses do know that it's an issue. Whether they take it seriously, or are just paying it lip service remains to be seen, but nothing different can be said about any other western nation.

As far as the human rights record goes- that's an issue for the government to be judged by, not for the businesses to be judged by, and not for the potential consumers of the country to judged by. Anyways- it's not like Western Countries or developed nations' records human rights are lily white either.

The more that business prospers in China, the better off the country will be. It's not encouraging or rewarding the behavior of the government you outline in your post, but by making the businesses better off, you can expect a higher level of development and economic prosperity, which the developed nations of the world enjoy, and with that often comes a higher ethical standard for the government. Not always though. In the developed nations, as I said before, and will reiterate, it's not like the behavior of the government is beyond reproach.

There is the matter of competition. If your competitors are launching products in China, and your company is not, you can miss out on a brief time frame in which the market share is up for grabs. It only happens once- and if you miss it, you will probably never be able to get it back. It's significantly easier and cheaper to build market share in a region by introducing a new company, brand or product than it is to try to capture it later on. It's not about a 'me too' approach to competitive environments, it's about securing a strategically significant region. China has a population of over a billion. If you can figure out how to market to the Chinese consumer, and secure a market share, that strategically significant region is yours for defending, and that's a great position to be in!

In conclusion (man those are a lot of points to cover for a conclusion), it's always good to look at business and opportunities from all sides. As business people, we have a responsibility to actively reject the myopia of NPV as the sole criterion for investment. Some refer to this as "triple bottom line" approach. In adopting that approach, we also have to be mindful that these issues often take significant time and resources to explore and resolve, and accordance is not guaranteed, and it can lead to acrimony.

They are important things to discuss however, and I have enjoyed our discussion about it.

No Slow boats in China

2006-03-20T10:32:00.000Z

Shanghai was an unbelievable experience! The class went as colleagues and we all formed friendships and bonded. It was great fun.

Shanghai, as a city itself was impressive. China is a great place to do business. It really surprised me the level of infrastructure that's not only in place, but also being planned. Granted, we were focused in the area that's the nidus of commercial activity for the People's Republic of China, but the level of commercial development, and the infrastructure- with regards of commerce, transport, education and real estate development (commercial, industrial and residential) was astounding!

From a commercial perspective, the west is seeing how some companies are profiting form Sino-JVs, and are following, suit. As with any commercial investment or relationship, you have to do your due diligence in order to know what to expect and to adapt your approach or practice accordingly. Other companies go in expecting to apply Western techniques; marketing, manufacturing/operations or distribution only to fail miserably. There are several reasons for that disparity, and not all of them are clear from the outset. One of the great challenges of business is adaptability and maneuverability; that being said, the Sino-environment of business requires an entirely new strategy. Applying what works in Germany, Nigeria or the United States is just lazy, and unless you want to lose money, not a great idea.

I'd go back to Shanghai in a second, and I'd do business in China in second. It's a great place, with a lot of potential. It's neither risk free, nor easy, but what things in business are?

Destination: Shangahi

2006-03-09T11:17:00.000Z

As of the day after tomorrow, I'm off to China.

Actually- first things first- I'm off to Amsterdam first- and this will be my first time in mainland Europe (although I've heard it argued that UK is now considered mainland because the Chunnel makes it accessible by train).

Then- my class and I are off for 8 days to Shanghai to hob-nob with dignitaries, network with business owners and rub elbows with academics at the Business School there.

As you might imagine, I am totally psyched!
I'll blog about it after I get back.

I will, however, be missing Purim, and an authentic Dublin St.Patrick's day- not that I would participate in Purim revelry anyways- I've been too busy to seek out other MOT.

Do you think there's any correlation between the occurrence of St.Patrick's day and Purim? Is it just the goys' turn to get wasted? They have fewer rules though- they don't have bound to the same protocols of drinking until you can't tell the difference between a curse for Mordechai and a blessing for Haman! Or is that the other way around?
*hic*

Beach Running

2006-03-06T10:27:00.000Z

My legs have been killing me, so last week I went downtown between Negotiations and Market class and bought a new pair of running shoes. I actually found my model and size, which as anyone who's a runner knows, you usally have a fair affinity for your current shoes, and just tend to replace with the same model over and over again. I believe this is the 15th or so pair of Nike Air Pegasus that I've bought; averaging two pairs of runners a year for 10 years (have I been running that long?) and take away a few for the time that the Pegasus was stopped and I was forced into Nike Air Triax (a comparable Bowerman line shoe).

Anyways- my legs were feeling fantastic on my runs last week after I bought the shoes, and today I took a risk of it being low tide and ran along the road beside the Irish Sea.

Then at the 20 minute point along this route I come to a path that leads to a beach, and; luckily me- the tide was low, so I got to run along the beach back. My shoes became filthy! Caked with mud and sand, water logged with salt water, and legs screaming in labor from running on sand, but totally worth it, running along the beach in the sun as a start to my day!

When I got back the DART station along the beach (DART is Dublin's answer to the subway), I found that due to construction, my path back to the main road was blocked! The sea waves lapped the wall of an old structure. I had to traverse a ledge against a wall to a place where I could climb it, and walk along the top of the wall back to the road!

It was a great adventure!

Friday Post

2006-03-03T10:57:00.000Z

I like Fridays- I don't have classes, so it gives me time to catch up on work. Right now I'm applying strategy theory (dad- you'd be proud; some of it is game theory) to a marketing case for a presentation on ice cream next week.

And for some reason on Friday it's the only day that I open my David Krakauer and Kroke Band heavy Klezmer play list in Winamp and listen while I work... and for a reason beyond me altogether- it never fails to put me in a great mood! Well- it doesn't matter.

So- when you see me bopping away with my headphones plugged in while I'm writing about stakeholders and boundaries of play and it's Friday- you better believe that the lyrics to my music are in a language that only Beady understands...

Summer Already?

2006-03-02T18:24:00.000Z

Well- they're demolishing Dushanbe Synagogue in Tajikistan...

Funny- it doesn't feel like August 3rd already...
(FYI: That's the date of Tisha B'av this year)

Feedback?

2006-02-27T14:41:00.000Z

Anonymous said...
mike, you still haven't changed your posting.......it's all wrong......no one will read a posting if it's all shite...strange blog, this, you don't seem to be able to take constructive criticism.......we're trying to help

Thanks for your posting. Interesting point.
I'll be frank: I wish you would be more specific in what posting you mean, and why you think it's wrong. I wouldn't consider it constructive criticism if it's not constructive- meaning useful. Give something concrete that you have trouble understanding or you disagree with, and I'll try to make it clearer, or defend my position better. If you just give general "It's all shite" feedback, it sounds like bellyaching instead of constructive feedback that one can use for improvement.

Just a thought. I do appreciate your post though.

Also- the internet is a medium of limited accountability and famous for abuse of the anonymity. I might take your feedback more seriously if you signed your name instead of just signing it "anonymous". It makes me think that you're a classmate trying to take the piss out of me. Certainly isn't conducive to a relationship of trust and respect as is, right?

Suing Langdon

2006-02-27T11:08:00.000Z

The authors of The Holy Blood, The Holy Grail are suing the pants off Dan Brown for his work The Davinci Code.

So it seems that the contentious theories were that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married, fled to France after Jesus survived the crucifixion where they proceeded to begetting- and they begot the great royal families of Europe, the Danish Royal Family, the Merovingians, the Windors and were protected by the secret society the Knights Templars.

Further, the authors of the 1982 non-fiction book (Michael Baigent, Richard Leigh) saw themselves personified in the 2003 novel in the character- a friend of the hero Sir Leigh Teabing (Teabing is an anagram for Baigent). Hmmm.... Coincidence? I don't recall seeing any annotations...

So- given this information- plus the fact that Dan Brown author of the Davinci Code is rolling in millions of dollars from sales and movie deals- can we really blame Beigent and Leigh for wanting a share?

To put it in context of Strategic Management classes: The Holy Blood Holy Grail authors are already stakeholders in The Davinci Code; they are complimentors as opposed to substitutors, because a certain amount of consumers of one will use the other, so their success is mutual, as opposed to mutually exclusive.

It's coming to trial in a UK court starting today. Isn't it everyone's best interest to settle out of court? I mean creating acrimony and burning resources in a lengthy and expensive court battle will be in the best interest of neither. There are opportunities to solidify and contractualize the complimentor relationship, and to enhance the intellectual recognition due for the originators of the theory that I'm certain will appeal to both parties.

Little Blog

2006-02-23T19:11:00.000Z

Quick blog.
No time this week up to my ears in projects, articles and case studies.

OK- I just wanted to say how happy I am this week for non-school related stuff.
Thrilled with Stacey and Colin who went to Hawaii this week- and got married on the beach.
Welcome to the family, Broher in law! Can i have a loan- and sleep on your couch for a week, please?

Horray for Beady's cat who survived the operation, and is healthy again! Chase those mice little Peanut!

More next week...

London Trip- The Rugby

2006-02-20T10:03:00.000Z

I'm back from London for the weekend. Smurfit played 4 games in total.
Here's the breakdown;

We started out facing up against Harvard. We played in Regent Park beside LBS with ionic pillared mansions in the backdrop. We frankly couldn't get our heads in the game and got trounced.

The Second game against INSEAD- we found our grits and were able to put up a great show. We walked away with a victory, meaning we would move on to the Semi-Final (later that day)

The Third game was the Semi-Final against LBS. The Winner would square off against Harvard "A" team (nothing to do with the 80's television show- just schools with more than one team sent categorized them into an A team and B team- the A team being the more organized and experienced squad.

With about 5 minutes left of a brutal game- we were down by a conversion. Then- One of our teammates took a really bad hit and we had to call an ambulance. We all pulled it all together amid calls to "Do it for Bob!!!" (our fallen teammate) and scored a converted and an unconverted try.

The Next day- we woke up extremely tired and sore. We went against the Harvard A Team again- the same from the day before- but this time with some Ringers from the B team in the back row which actually were better than some of the back row A's- not to insult A's back rows from the day before; they did, after all, thump us.

The end result- we got second place in the Tournament, which is disappointing, but still quite respectable and the Captain did say he was proud of all of us...

Anyways- a subsequent blog to come will talk about the other aspect of the trip. The parties!

Ouch! I am in so much pain- from the rugby- not the parties.

Weekend off

2006-02-14T22:57:00.000Z

I am going to UK for the first time in my life this weekend.

The Rugby team is heading out to battle LBS, INSEAD, and Harvard on the pitch, and party in the bars.

Then on Monday, as if to Pussy-ize myself again- I am going to the Opera on Monday. The Marriage of Figaro in a group with my classmates.

Is that wrong?

2006-02-09T20:19:00.000Z

Lately- after my High Second class honors in Managerial Accounting, I've been thinking of exploring my accounting side... It scares me a little. What also scares me is that I find myself wishing that I had more time and electives available so I could take Strategic Finance... Not that I'm not loving my current electives! Actually- Project Management has proved to be so interesting and useful that it got bumped up from audit to 'for credit', at the expense of Entrepreneurial management.

Hmmm... Accounting... cost management... hmmm....

Shocking News!!!

2006-02-08T15:59:00.000Z

I took the Harvard 'tacit' knowledge test discussed by Malcolm Gladwell (https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/).

As it turns out:

"Your data suggest a strong automatic preference for Judaism compared to Other Religions."

Really??? You don't say!

Cartoons

2006-02-07T14:25:00.000Z

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei thinks it's a Zionist conspiracy that the European dailies published the now infamous caricatures of Prophet Mohamed.

Meanwhile- I don't really think it's a Muslim filled with righteous anger thing. I don't even think it's a religion thing. I think it's a Mullah or cleric thing, and it's a theocratic means of coercion. In theocracies, as in any other political or socio-economic system, the means of coercion are enforced by methods that are determined by the nature of the system- for example- democratic coercion involves manipulation of the free will and choice which democracy is based on, autocratic coercion involves military protection of the leader and the system, which autocracies are based upon.

Theocracies, where the system is integrally linked to the religion of the system, coercive elements are presented in the form of religious right. In essence- we're not dealing with a Mullah leading his faithful Muslim parish in a protest of an outrage against Islam. This is about a War Lord using starving people- starving for food, starving for answers and starving for truth using Islam deceptively as a reason to rally the crowds, and thus perpetuate their power over the community.

The results are in

2006-01-31T13:28:00.000Z

I got my results from my first semester courses.

Good news- I don't have to resit any exams.
The great news- I got an unexpected second class honors in Accounting (I got second class honors in other courses too, but that one totally shocked me).

The two I was having nightmares about: Business Economics and Financial Reporting; passed. That means all goals were met!

Rank Findings

2006-01-30T11:47:00.000Z

Financial Times has released its 2006 ranking of MBA programs.

They demoted the Smurfs 3 spots, which isn't as big a deal as our main rivals- the MBA program across town at Trinity College rose 13 spots to beat us out! My classmates are understandably incensed!!

How dare they?? Now not only do they have the Book of Kells- they also have the strongest MBA program in Ireland!

OK- they may take our prestige, but they can never take the Smurf name from us... and we have a nicer campus. *indignant snort*

To all my Schulich friends- Mozel tov on breaking the top 20! About time we got a Canadian School up there!

AGGGHH! A Erudite!

2006-01-26T08:09:00.000Z

I watched Land of the Dead the other day. Actually- it was over the course of a couple of days during my supper break. Eating breaks are the only time I am not studying (I am eating breakfast right now)- oh and when I'm exercising...

(Mmmm! Pineapple yogurt!)

George A. Romero is famous for his political or social critical horror films. In Dawn of the dead- the zombies masses all fell over each other to gain entrance to a mall. All of them falling over each other to consume! "Must... get... to GAP.... Chinos on sale... then Pottery Barn... for hundred dollar useless chachkas."

The Land of the dead- the well heeled and privileged had access to Fiddler's Fields- a high rise luxury resort-condo with a decidedly Zombie-Free resident roster- I don't think there were any black residents either... It was several years since people started turning into mindless Zombies, and they were kept outside the town, a town where people lived in less splendor than in the condo. For them- Kabul would be a place to go on a honeymoon (rimshot, please).

Anyways- Horror ensues when zombies start self-actualizing and thinking for themselves... then they take some negotiations courses and are able to talk their way into the town where they then proceed to feast on the inhabitants...

The movie isn't what I wanted to discuss- it's the message I got from it- so just see the movie yourself if you haven't already.

It is my conjecture that the Fiddler Field's residents represent the societal consumer ideal, the zombies questing for this ideal mindlessly represent us (the societal us) in our pursuits for material excess.

Hmmm..... Very profound. Now if you'll excuse me- I have to go eat some brains before class...

Flame Wars in the Comments box

2006-01-25T14:44:00.000Z

Stolen from the comments of last week's blog...
I love a good argument.

4 Comments:

mom4shelby said...
canada has now officially got the u.s's dick in their mouth. might as well stay where you are.
7:50 PM

Mike said...
I don't think it's as bad as your message conveys you think it is, but it's my conjecture that you don't really think it's that bad either. Canadians didn't vote for an American government- they voted for a more right of centre Canadian Government. While it may smack of Republicanism to some- there are still disparate values that make the US very different from Canada.

Also- what's wrong with being a good neighbor the most powerful and free nation on earth? The war of 1812 is over! Move on! :P
8:24 AM

mom4shelby said...
for some reason canada can't be friends with the states without looking like...how did they refer to us....their retarded cousin. i hate that we are condescended and patted on the head. "there there canada. it's ok. we'll take care of it." my views and opinions may not be rational and teem with juvenile ignorance, however, it remains that i have never been prouder of my political leader when he refused to cow to u.s pressures re: softwood. martin showed some balls. harper will be handed his.
2:23 PM

Mike said...
Katie- your view is not atypical. It's so common, in fact it's addressed in some travel journals.

It's the Canadian US inferiority complex. To be fair- the Irish have the same complex vis a the UK, New Zealand vis a Australia, and Austria vis a Germany. I'm certain anywhere you have two close neighbors- one bigger, more powerful or at least more salient than the other- the inferiority complex forms. Humans by nature are somewhat cabalistic or cliquish. Rivalries are a truism, even among nations with the strongest bonds.
2:42 PM

Electing Courses

2006-01-19T13:15:00.000Z

The new semester has commenced and after nearly a month of vacation (save for assignments) the common theme in the class is trouble getting geared back up.

In addition to the regular core courses- Strategic Management, Corporate Finance, Operations, and International Business- we are all going our separate ways for electives. I have signed up for Strategic marketing, Negotiations, Entrepreneurship and project management (I think I said this already in previous posts).

The courses have now started and they are interesting, stimulating and genuinely enjoyable.

Something that's boring me right now is the election. *yawn*. As if not electing those crooked lying thieving cheating Grits is going to change anything drastic. Replacing them with the crooked lying thieving cheating Tories is a solution? Replacing one element with another element that the same except for one key difference; ethical and moral bankruptcy (referring to Tories) is not a operational solution! But I guess that's just my own personal view- and the administration is elected based on common wants and priorities, showing once again that ethics and morality is not a priority that the masses choose.

I can't really complain that much- after all; I didn't opt for the elective course this semester titled Business Ethics.

Photo-journal has arrived!

2006-01-14T11:49:00.000Z

I have a good 35 pictures commemorating my family's visit to Dublin. Because of the nature of the internet- (read: internet crazies and stalkers abound) I am not including pictures of my family. Just me- and of Dublin...

Not the oldest church- but I thought it certainly had great charm.

Dublinia the Interactive Museum. I am wearing the helmet and shield and I feel like the Black Knight from Monty Python's Holy Grail. "It's just a flesh wound!"

I like the Urban streetscape of Dublin.

It's not exactly Frank Lloyd Wright or I.M. Pei or Gaudi, but it has an old world charm to it- and It's certainly both functional and aesthetic.

Lucky little Canadian Jew

2006-01-13T14:19:00.000Z

Well- here it is- the final non-weekend day before school starts up again.

I have already started my course preparations reading a chapter on International Business and Strategic management and am muddling my way through a couple of articles on strategy.

Truth be told- classes actually start today with the Friday Lecture of Media in the 21st century- an elective that I passed on, so several of my classmates will be converging on the management Campus later- while I flee the management campus for rugby practice. Perhaps playing rugby isn't the wisest decision of activity for Friday the 13th, but then I remember that I am indeed not a Knight of the Templar (not that I can admit in the open forum), so I probably will be safe.

I am having an awesome time reading Plot against America by Philip Roth. I probably will have less time to read it come Monday. Something I realized while reading it is that I miss my Jewish connection. Back in North America I was surrounded by fellow yids, and ensured participation in the community by attending religious services every Friday for Kabbalat Shabbat (That's welcoming the Sabbath for those not up on their Hebrew). I sent an email to the rabbi this week and touched base.

He told me that I missed, and encouraged me to seek out and hook up with other Jews... There are two other ancestral Jews in the program with me. Well- depending on your interpretation of ancestral- they are patrimonial derived, which makes their Judaism moot by some interpretations of Jewish law. At any rate- I am participating in some very Jewish activities- corporate finance for example and have found a large spring of klezmer music online that I listen to while I study whenever I need a dose of Judaism, just like whenever I need my dose of Canadiana I listen to Neko Case and read the Globe and Mail online. Looks like the crooks are going to win the election coming up... No- not those crooks- the other ones-

And of course Canadians are polarized and indignant about the whole process... However if we want true leadership in the country; non-crooked, non-partisan process with high levels of participation- we're going to need more than luck.

To Scott or to Jew? As long as it's not finance...

2006-01-06T12:46:00.000Z

OK- I know I just made a post less then 20 minutes ago- but that was all about my week while my family visited. Here is more about me!

I finished The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime and finished watching 24 yesterday- so today I was faced with a choice. State of Fear by Michael Crichton or The Plot Against America by Phillip Roth.

Crichton or Roth? The Tall Scot or the Perverted Jew? One is famous for his books about Giant Lizards wreaking havoc. The other is famous for his books about Giant boobs wreaking perversion.

One's book was made into a movie about a corporate conspiracy to keep a Wharton MBA from cashing in when his company went IPO due to a product that went to market through his efforts, the other wrote a book about a Liberal Arts College Dean with a Ivy league PhD who conspired to keep his past under wraps through shame of turning his back on his heritage...

One book is a tour de force work met with critical acclaim by reviewers about Terrorists releasing a virus on the population. The other is a Tour de force work met with critical acclaim by reviewers about an Aviator turned President releasing terror through alliances with a disease called Nazism.

I'll read perverted Jew now and leave tall Scott for bedtime reading during the semester.

And I've all but abandoned Swiss banker murder mystery... I think I've reached a satiation point with Finance for now, at least in pleasure reading. Corporate Finance starts a week Thursday, so I better not have reached a point of satiety with finance altogether, or I'll be in big trouble!

5 Days in Dublin in 3 minutes

2006-01-06T12:18:00.000Z

Met Sandra at Starbucks on Wednesday morning, and we walked around downtown- had lunch at Elephant and Castle (No- it's not affiliated with the Brit pub chain in North America). Then after walking around some more- checking out bookstores, we were getting tired, so we Sandra into the Hotel and watched Rugby until my father and his wife (Louise) called and said they checked in. We went for dinner at a Pizza and Pasta restaurant off Grafton St.

The next day we ate breakfast at the hotel and got tickets for a bus tour of Dublin. We hopped off at the The Modern Art Gallery and saw some great art! All of it was fantastic!!! There's an Art Gallery in Toronto down on Queen West that me and the Beady Eyed One visited after brunch one day which has some really boring Modern Art, trite and pretentious- but this place in Dublin was absolutely wonderful!

We then had lunch in Temple Bar (an area, not a Temple or a Bar) and went to Christ Church Cathedral to tour the oldest Crypt in UK and Erie.

We had Sushi dinner that night. Certainly not up to par with Takana on Yonge North of St.Clair, but this was about as good as Dublin sushi got- which just goes to show the old adage is true: "Leprechauns Fuck up Japanese cuisine!!!"

The next day we went to the National Museum of Ireland which got us all hungry for Medieval and Viking time history so we made plans to attend another Museum the next day called Dublinia. That afternoon we took it easy and went to Blackrock (my Village) and toured my room and had dinner in town before sending them back to the Hotel.

The next day- New Years Eve Day we went to Dublinia and then we all separated and Sandra, Dad and I went to Bad Ass cafe for lunch- then Sandra and I went to the National Art Gallery. Then I passed out until dinner (which we had in the hotel restaurant). After dinner- Sandra and I went for a walk on Grafton St. and watched all the pretty young things go off to their bashes. We just returned to the hotel and watched CSI on Sandra's laptop. I stayed in the Hotel that night.

The next morning Dad and Louise left early and Sandra left later (different flights at different times in different directions), and I stumbled exhaustedly back to Blackrock and slept...

So- now I've seen the Tourist side of Dublin. When do I start feeling like a resident?

Laziness with Intensity

2006-01-05T11:30:00.000Z

I’m loving my time off.

Now that I’m done my assignments as well- I’m enjoying my lethargy… more or less.

I’m not wasting away into a blissful acedia, as there are always things that need to be done- and frankly- I’m not certain I’m a lie around kinda guy. So- I am just enjoying reading tons- I am devouring a novel or two a week.

	The Kite Runner Surprised me and shocked me just how wonderful it could be. It's veridical, and beautiful, and shameful, and sublime. It gave me a real apreciation for all the characters- they seemed tangible and material. The plot was meaty and eventful with plot twists that sometimes hurt worse than Beady Eyed's nipple twists...
	What can I say about The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime? I have never related so deeply to a book character... except Rainman... It's laugh out loud funny and a great read- also gives you a new perspective on special needs people and how society treats them.
	Samson (his blog at the side) has lent me Season 2 of 24. I've never seen it before, but it didn't take long to get addicted to it! All I can say is that the hype is well deserved! And Jack Bauer- any man that can survive getting kidnapped by militia, kidnapped by his wife's murder (after he saves her, no less) a plane crash, a nuclear explosion, getting tortured to death only to be brought back to life- all on the day he shaves off his beard... well- Let me put this way "Note to self- Don't fuck with Jack Bauer..." Um- sorry if i spoiled the plot for anyone there...

So- yeah- I had an awesome time with the Family last week in Dublin. I went into town every day and spent the day with them and shuttled back at night. We saw amazing museums, and took in the cultural side of Ireland. More than just Leprechauns and drunks, ya know... More about that next post...

It's over!

2005-12-24T12:39:00.000Z

Ahhh! My exams are all over now.

Actually- they were over last Monday, but this is my first post since.

Now I can again concentrate on Assignments, but at least they require less time and energy than exam preparation.

I've learned so much over the semester! I still can't believe just how much I'm learning, how interesting it is, and what a blast it is! I really am so convinced that taking a year out to do an MBA was the right decision.

Also- my elective choices for next semester has changed once again.
I am now taking Strategic Marketing, and Negotiations (which is nothing new), but also now am taking Entrepreneurship and Small Business Management, and was thinking of taking ethics as a for credit, then as an audit; but decided instead to take as an audit Business Planning and Project Management- which will probably be extremely useful to me in my career. More so than ethics.

Not to say that ethics is not important in business. One must always take ethics into account when facing issues both in and out of the boardroom, but I don't know if I really need an ethics course to have sound judgement when evaluating the ethics of a particular decision. However, in order to elicit sound judgement in project management, I think I would certainly like to have the course in my background.

So- I bought my books at the bookstore the other day. Got into an interesting conversation with the retail clerk in the bookstore. He said that he could never get interested in business- I told him I understood where he was coming from, and that a few years ago- I had no real interest in business either. He asked what changed. I told him I realized that business isn't just about the competition. It's not about trying to fuck other people over. It's about building relationships with others, and it's about solving puzzles using various information.

It did get me thinking about the reason Business did just suddenly interest me 4 years ago...

Who's up for an obscure Simpson's reference?

2005-12-16T09:38:00.000Z

Quick blog...

Two more exams after today.
Ouch! My computer has a stupid virus! Luckily- Dell's screw up will save me! My old hard drive on my new computer melted two months ago so they sent me a new hard drive- but with 40G capacity instead of 80. They finally sent me the 80 two weeks ago. Yes- I know- a one month isn't that great service- but my contact there went on vacation, and sent it to the guy covering for him, who let it slip through his fingers.

I can't really blame anyone. A man needs his vacation- and someone else's cases are just dropped on you- you tend to not see the forest through the trees as far as importance goes and prioritizing different files- plus now the poor guy probably had double the work load... So I wasn't mad- just eager to get an 80 Gigger again!

The wonderfully patient, competent and charming lads and lasses at ILTG (That's the techie department) sorted me grandly. (that's Leprechaun speak for fixed it up good).

so- I'm moseying around with my new hard drive and I keep getting pop ups. "Come play Poker!" says one! "Are you hard enough?" inquires another. "Get your credit authorized instantly!" says another...

So- and installation of MS Spyware, Spybot S&D, and Ad-Aware later- they're not budging.
Luckily- ITGL made and saved their Ghost image from weeks ago to put the new hard drive in seamlessly, so getting rid of my new friends is going to quick and easy job... One that would not be possible if Dell hadn't sent the wrong hard drive initially.

Ahhhh. I think the word serendipity doesn't cover it- that's good fortune unexpected- but for good luck coming unexpectedly from bad events... there's only one term I know.

Dell pulled a Homer Simpson.

Who's the loser now??

2005-12-15T07:58:00.000Z

Can I make my Canadian friends jealous for a moment?

I just wanted to tell you about the weather here...
8C, 46 F; Cloudy; sunrise: well- it's past 8 am here and dawn is just breaking.
It has been below 0 once or twice here- and it's only been around -1 or -2...

Maybe it was the weather that was the reason I enjoyed my run so much this morning. Maybe it's fact that I had my Management Accounting exam yesterday and now I only have 3 exams left- 2 of which I am very very confident about (Marketing and MIS...)

Anyways- 4 more days I'll be a free man for a month. I have some assignments for over the break- Including one for a new subject starting next semester- Corporate Finance.

Cost of textbook for course: € 59.
Cost of course in total: € 1112.50
Cost of giving up your Christmas Holidays to analyze finance cases: priceless.

OK- I know I opened this blog promising to make you all jealous... and now that you say my true state of affairs in the larger picture, you're probably feeling like you don't have it so bad after all- not that it's a competition, but I'm going to tell you a little more:

Cost of Visiting Shanghai in March for the week long class field trip: Included in Tuition.

Bing bing bing. I think we have a winner!
Except for Corina who wins the pot because she's getting married next week! Wicked happy for you, toots! Wait- maybe that means she loses if she's getting married.

and to Ben who doesn't have to write any more OB papers... wait- that means that he had a bad OB teacher- so maybe that means he loses too.

And to Blake who found that the best things in life are salty broths with chewy noodles and plump chicken and beef inside... wait- maybe he's getting sick of them, so maybe that means he loses.

And to Beady who wins double because she's kicking ass and taking names in her new awesome job, and also wins because she's in my thoughts very frequently- and no woman has been able to maintain my attention for this long- especially considering the distance between us... wait- maybe that's not such a great thing after all...

and to Sandra who is healing quickly from the van hitting her.
If you think she's damaged- you should see the fucking VAN! You totally are a BEAST, Sandra! A BEEEEEAST!!! wait- maybe being a beast isn't such a great thing- I mean- you have to spend a lot on all that body waxing stuff, and the price of children for nourishment isn't exactly dropping...

'Xam 'Xiety!

2005-12-07T12:19:00.000Z

Sunday Night my tummy was feeling funny.

No- not Chris Rock or Family Guy Funny, more nauseous, so yeah- Jack Black funny...

Anyways- I'll save you the gory details of my bodily functions, but suffice to say that come Monday morning- I was wrecked... and preparation for the Financial Reporting Exam was an uphill struggle, until I remembered the Struggle wasn't on the Exam- just Cash flows- I remembered stupid acronyms to help me remember the proper structure of Cash Flows.

Other Reasons That Cows Eat Fried Ice Cream
Rally Cars Race in Georgia.

Never mind- all that matters is that I remember them now! And today I stuffed 10 ratios in there- so I'm all set. It's all over but the crying... I mean the writing... of them exam- and hopefully there will be only limited sobbing in the exam hall. It's ever so distracting.

So- anyways- After my funky tummy business on Monday- I have sworn off sweets. I know that sweets are NOT the cause of my episode, but my subconscious cannot help but associate that feeling of emesis with those 3 chocolate bars, that half bag of chips and that caramel popcorn. (What? Oh Give me a fucking break! It's Exam time!!!!)

Anyways- the moral of the story is... Um... there must be a way to blame Stephen Harper for this. Where's a scapegoat when you need one? shit...

I had to share this email I got from my old boss. He's a funny funny man:

Glad to hear you haven't been accosted by any leprechauns yet ... if you see one, run. Apparently if they bite you, you'll turn into one too. No, wait, that's MBAs.

Silence before the Storm

2005-11-29T13:44:00.000Z

Ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach of an eerie calm just before the chaos ensues and havoc is wreaked?

Right now- we have no readings.
No projects
No assignments to hand up.

Next week- we have 2 final exams.
The following week we have 4 final exams
Then the following Monday we have one last exam.

So.... I think I might... you know... not blog until I have more free time.

So- I guess I'll have to make this blog 'sode count!

I have decided to take strategic marketing after all next semester.
I am looking forward to the Christmas Party on Friday.
I am looking forward to a nice loooooong 3 week break starting 2 weeks from Monday- with all I have to do is catch up on sleep, DVDs and novel reading, visit with family coming over to Ireland to see me, exercise, see Dublin, finally and finish the Financial Reporting and Principles of Finance assignment due January 9th...

Because the next 3 weeks is probably going to be absolute hell from a time management point of view, and I know I'm going to have to dedicate absolute and total focus to the subjects at hand. And I know that my focus is not optimal right now- so Saturday I'm going to go to lengths to ensure my ability to focus is optimized by taking the day off and going into town for... well... lunch and whatever I feel like! Maybe shopping... Keeping it cheap, of course.

Hmmm..... what in the world can say that's both amusing and insightful about the elections? Isn't it ironic that the Minority government was taken down because the vocal minority is screaming for Liberal Blood to be spilled? I say vocal minority because the majority of Canadians don't care about politics, and frankly I don't know if I can blame them. Voting is not your civic duty- participation in the political process is. The process involves far more than dropping a slip of paper into the cardboard box every 4 years- and the process is not something that Canadians feel works in their interest. They don't see politics as something that benefits them because there is no real interactive process evident. The interactivity is only present on voting day, because first past the post voting method of representation is a corrupted form of democracy. They feel powerless to the decision making process, and the government- administration or institution has done little to ensure the participatory challenges are resolved.

The administration is looking into revamping the process to include representational voice- that's certainly a start.

In the meantime, don't blame people for not caring about Politics. They just feel that Politics doesn't care about them.

Stupid Canada

2005-11-24T07:42:00.000Z

Recently, The Globe and Mail (the preeminent erudite Canadian news daily) started allowing "Comments" on the articles, where readers could publish a critique of the article or issue- pending editorial review.

The Star- another Toronto news daily cancelled it's unmoderated discussion forums a few years back after it evolved into little more than a flame-fest. The Internet is still an imperfect medium for communication. People often approach the superhighway knowing that they are anonymous and, ergo unaccountable and say hyper-critical things without ever dreaming of being held to defend their arguments.

Having said that to put things in context- the Globe & Mail's comments are all devolving into a Liberal bashing fest. Where did all this acrimony for the Liberal party come from? OK- fair enough- the Gomery Inquiry- but calling the Liberals crooks and saying it's time for a change is just stupid because there are no non-crook alternatives available in the Canadian political landscape.

What's more- Canada must be adopting the American approach of blaming the political party and politician for all events, political and apolitical alike. How the hell is "Trusts poised to soar" about how a new tax scheme unveiled to motivate investment in Income Trusts is something to be critical of those "Snivelling Liberals" and "Spineless Socialist"????

What the hell is snivelling anyways?? One who snivels? Snivel- while we're using archaic words- here's a few more:
ragamuffin: One who dresses oddly or funny.
Cad: An uncouth person.
Uncouth: a to act in a cad-like manner.

One Down

2005-11-22T13:59:00.000Z

I feel the cold hand of impending exams clutching at the back of my neck.
I have just finished the first exam- it was OB, it was open book and it was easy. Now that OB is done- I can go back to being a total asshole.

I have seven more exams, and 2 assignments. For the assignments- me and a partner are dissecting the Annual Report of Amazon (the online biblio-retailer).

We're also under pressure to select our courses for next semester. I've selected Strategic Marketing, Negotiations, and Business Ethics.

Although- strategic marketing is a late entry- there are a number of taxation, accounting and finance electives, and a glaring lack of marketing electives next semester, so people complained. It was- as the administrator explained a matter of finding someone to teach it.

Now- they have the elective, they have someone to teach it, and they even have the time- and all the marketing-interested students were all ready to sign up... but now all of us don't want to sign up after all. I'm not going to say why- just because this blog is an open resources accessible to anyone, and it's not in my opinion constructive to voice it here now, but suffice to say- we are almost unanimous in our apprehension of the course after being given a little more information.

So- now that I have possible one more elective available, maybe I'll take Small Business management and Entrepreneurship. Maybe I'll take Project Management and Business Planning (apparently it's a very useful and informative course and quite easy).

Or maybe I'll go the administrator, and deal with the issue head on. Tell him that I realize the trouble he's gone to, inform him of my apprehension of the course, and see if there's some way we can find a solution.

I am thoroughly enamoured with Business Ethics though, despite the fact that it's on weekend to allow Part Time MBA's to participate. (It's Friday night and Saturday morning in the second half of the semester). It just means I'll have to visit my German sister in the first half of the semester and during the break.

And as far as negotiation goes- I've done some negotiation training. I read and applied the famous book Getting to Yes, and found an immediate improvement in the places where I used it. Negotiation skills are not just business skills- it's life skills, and like OB, it's probably going to be one of the courses that teaches me more about myself and equips me with both hard skills and soft skills to make me more effective in life in general. That's my goal here in the MBA. It's not just picking up business skills- it's making myself more effective, gaining confidence, learn how to learn from my mistakes better.

That, and learn how to not crawl into the corner, crying and shaking, curling up into a ball when someone asks me to draw up a campaign or departmental budget...

Don't hate me...

2005-11-21T09:05:00.000Z

Why is there so much acrimony towards MBA's? I've encountered so many people calling me arrogant and snotty since I started the MBA, and I don't know if it's fair to not realize a correlation.

Now- I can understand how people in general are cynical towards Managers and prospective managers just because so often managers have to make the tough decisions about the future of the company that affects the lives and livelihood of the members of the company without consensus of the other members of the organization. There must be some powerlessness felt by them. Additionally- many driven and successful professionals- those who have worked excruciatingly hard, sacrificing plenty to attain a certain level of success. People with that focus may intimidate others who have different priorities. Also- people who have attained that success at a young age tend to have a confidence or arrogance that (understandably) sets other off. However- they see that the MBA is common to that type of person, and think that the MBA causes it- meanwhile- if anything I've found that the MBA tends to dissuade arrogance because of the intensity that it exposes the candidate to, and the quality of intellect that the participants have. Theoretically- it could humble someone who is untested, and give them perspectives of the world, and mature them.

In conclusion- if someone is cynical towards MBA's, perhaps they could use a little MBA exposure themselves to open their minds and get a different perspective on things- realize how to deal effectively with others, what would be considered effective management techniques in dealing with other people, and what would be considered mature and professional approaches to dealing with others.

People People...

2005-11-15T14:10:00.000Z

OB- basically People Skills 101 and a core course of the MBA. Right now an extremely hot topic in management. If someone has honed communication skills, is respected- even liked- and know how to read others in order to motivate them, they are (theoretically) going to ultimately be effective managers.

While there is a great deal of resistance to Organizational Behavior as anything more than touchy-feely navel gazing- it is perhaps the subject that could make or break one's effectiveness managing the most important resource of their organization- the human resource.

It's more than just "This is how to be nice to people"- it's how to listen actively, and how to use that active listening to use effective people management as a strategic advantage over your competition. Why it can be perilous to play certain political games- and what it will mean to you as a manager if your employees are unhappy- how to realize they're unhappy, and what do about it.

All of it gets brought home with Case Studies from the real world with demonstrations of these principles and skills in action. That's the difference between navel gazing and hairy-fairy people skills- the case studies which show just what the results are- and what the implications are of handling things badly.

Nexus of Ethics

2005-11-11T15:28:00.000Z

Enron was the last time now, I mean it!
No! Krispy Kreme was the last straw! Now they're getting tough and cleaning things up!
No! Refco...

Corporate Governance and ethical management may have once been the butt of jokes for MBA's, but now students, faculty, and administration are keening to the idea that Ethical management is not just a great idea- it's crucial in order to graduate healthy and progressive managers.

There will always be a dilemma facing management. Sometimes, if not often- ethics and strategy have a zero-sum relation. At least- that's how it's perceived, and ethics, quite frankly is seen as an academic past time, as opposed to a scope for decisions. There are variables that have to be addressed when dealing with any decision, and in a utopia, the variables being addressed include ethical implications. However, it seems that many take the approach that the variables to be satisfied do not include ethics. It is my belief, and I am certain I'm not alone in this- that there is room among measures of a effective campaign to include ethics along with shareholder gain, market share, volume processed, cost savings made, efficiency attained, and of course- perhaps most importantly- kudos attained by the decision maker and the implementer.

When it's a key balance between strategy and ethics; ethics versus market share, ethics versus share holder gain, and ethics versus cost savings, etc... scope of ethical values is even more important. It's not a time to expend the need for ethics, quite the opposite, the ethical ends should guide the means. Just as in any of the other elements, where a certain qualitative or quantitative measure differentiates between a success and a failure, ethics should be among those measures. While ethics may seem heuristically antithetical to some, I insist that it is the essence of effective management.

Day 63

2005-11-08T15:24:00.000Z

It's now been 2 months and 1 day since my arrival in the land of Green and Leprechauns.

I've learned plenty of Business skills- both practical and applied as well as theoretical. I've learned a depth comes with management, as a depth can be present in anything if you approach it looking for depth.
Here's some things I learned about myself

I've learned that about myself- my leadership style and management style.
I've learned that when I work 100 hours a week- I tend to lose my imagination and my ability to think conceptually is hamstrung.
I can live on 6 hours sleep every night during the week.
I don't mind living without TV.
When surrounded by people with startling intelligence- I suddenly feel very cloddish and slow.
When feeling overworked and stressed- I have to remind myself to smile and joke around.
I will always probably be looking at the future and not the present.
I will always have something gnawing at me- even though I ignore it and never admit it- it's still there.
When I'm overworked- my level of attraction goes down- I am not attracted to anyone but the Beady eyed friend- who is back in Toronto.
When working hard and under stress- My appetite for vices is voracious! Because I can't let myself smoke, don't like to drink, don't gamble and screw hookers- I tend to eat junk food. I learned a few years ago to substitute- so I eat low fat popcorn and diet soda, but I also indulge in wine gums and chocolate bars. Mmmm!

I love Paris in the fall

2005-11-03T09:03:00.000Z

I am of two minds of the Paris riots. On one hand, I can relate with the fear the French must have right now, and the anger that must be building for the recent violence.

On the other hand- I can empathize with the deep rooted acrimony the immigrant youths must feel if the environment is as people describe.

It's a complex issue with a depth that can't be summarized in our dailies headlines or our 6 o'clock news soundbites. Much like North American Natives, sometimes people feel comfortable when the second class citizens are pushed out of direct view.

On the other hand- the Government has a duty to protect the peace, and more specifically- create an environment conducive to production of economic means. It has to protect the middle class, because they are the workforce. If they feel threatened, productivity will drop, and the National Production Level will plummet, our Balance of Payments will slip into deficit, and the economy will quickly fall into ruin. All careful economic planning will be for not, and it's possible the economy will never recover.

Alarmist? Perhaps!
Realistic? Perhaps not!

All I know is that without security- productivity plummets. Also- a safe worker is a worker consuming goods and services and a susceptible target for marketing campaigns - which also keeps the whole economy strolling along.

And that's what I learned in my MBA so far.
Organizational Behavior, HR, Economics, Marketing and Accounting (Accountants are always alarmist, but call themselves realists).

Banking on a Holiday

2005-10-30T15:09:00.000Z

Finally- a day off! The last Monday in October every year is an Irish Bank Holiday.

It's also the day of the Dublin marathon. In celebration- I went for a nice run (80 minutes) to the US embassy and back.

OK- I lied. It wasn't nice. It was miserable! It was cold, and poured rain on me half the time, and I had a head wind on the way back- but MAN! Did it feel good to just get out there and run.

Many in the program is seizing the holiday opportunity to get out of town, or lay about. I wish! I am taking the opportunity to catch up on Finance, Accounting, and to get done a marketing memo for next week.

Not that I'm complaining. I am having a blast, and despite the toughness of it- I'm certainly going to emerge from the MBA program with skills, confidence and resolve that I didn't have before- and it's not just rugby skills either.

Word Games

2005-10-24T09:15:00.000+01:00

Some Irish words and phrases I'm exposed to and their translations into Canuck-speak.
Yer' man = that guy.
Stock = Inventory
Share = Equity

I am reading the Wall Street Journal and Financial Times (when I have time). Today I picked up The Wall Street Journal Europe and read a fascinating article by this year's Nobel Laureate Thomas Schelling on nuclear deterrence- the topic which he based his Game Theory on, which earned him his Nobel Prize for Economics.

I'm learning the basics of Game Theory in different topics- Managerial Accounting which uses Game Theory basics to predict costs in order to evaluate which course of action to pursue for the greatest return, and Human Resources Management which used Game Theory to explain the Prisoner's Dilemma, which illustrated how management and labor interests could be at odds, and how they might find a solution.

Accountancy in my future?

2005-10-23T13:34:00.000+01:00

OK- so the previous post where I said I'm getting Accounting and Finance because I dreamed about it is probably not accurate.

To be more precise- I dreamed about accounting and Finance because it's something I'm working hard on and just dedicating time and energy to learning. So- the fact I finally am able to perform it with any authority is a reflection of that effort, not of my ethereal activities.

Besides- It has yet to be seen if I can perform it with any authority yet. All I know is that I'm getting better at it- faster- fewer mistakes, more comfortable. I'm not accountant yet, but who knows what the future will bring? I could decide accounting and bookkeeping is the life for me.

I certainly do get a huge rush from making the second line in the double underline...

Cold... so very cold...

2005-10-20T09:51:00.000+01:00

I hate getting sick when I'm super busy. It's not always the way, but it's the way right now. Luckily- the worst has passed. My fever is gone, my sinuses (or is that sini?) are cleared again allowing me to do do my ujhai breathing in yoga, but there's my damn sore throat! You know what I do about it?

I keep working- I pop some ibu, and keep working.

On another topic- an anonymous classmate is leaving cheeky, surrealist but genuinely amusing comments on my blog. I suggest you wade through the spam being left in the comments now and check it out. This girl or guy is a little strange- but harmless and hilarious!

In the meantime- I am staying in Dublin over the X-Mas break. I finally get to see this beautiful city that I have called me home for a month and half now and have barely left campus.

All I have to do now is track down where to go and what to see. Because the program is packed with Dubliners (No- I mean locals, not characters from James Joyce Novels), I'm sure I can get some tips on where to go and what to do.

I'll get accounting... in my dreams!!!

2005-10-18T07:58:00.000+01:00

I know I'm getting a good handle on the skills and logic used to apply the skills in Principles of Finance and Managerial Accounting (the two scary number-heavy courses) not only because I'm dedicating the time and effort to plugging away at it- but also because I've started dreaming about it.

Weird.

Same thing happenned when I was learning Java in Post-grad in '99.

Blank Checks

2005-10-17T10:20:00.000+01:00

Ever have one of those days?

I had one last Tuesday.
I was having temporary personal issues with my team (who's great and I absolutely have no criticism of- hoenstly!) in a class (well because it's a professional team, maybe we should call it personel issues)... and because I was thinking of that- then when the professor was making the rounds- he called on me.

Mike? Any thoughts?
Um.... no.

I just blanked out. Wham. Everything I was thinking was just wiped! Yes, Smithers was experiencing a larger institutional problem that's common in manufacturing communities where the Engineers and the Operations have contempt for eachother. Smithers didn't help that by playing tree monkey with the wrong people (tree monkey in office politics- The people above see a smiling face- the people below just see an asshole)...

So Mike- any thoughts?
Yes. Several.
Ok--- er... care to share some of them?
No.
No???
No.
Um- why not, Mike?
I don't want to intimidate my classmates with my insight or take away from others who came to hte same conclusions or had the same views as me. I am empathy personafied, like a great manager should be. This is after all- Organizational Behavior.

Stuck in the Middle with you

2005-10-11T15:27:00.000+01:00

I am in MIS and I am blogging.

How very apprepo!

So it's now half way through week number 4... wait - no it's 5. Alright- halfway through week number 5 which at the end is the half-way point between our start and our Finish in December. Oh- bad choice of words- I mean our exams in December.

I'll take the time in December to explore Dublin after exams. I'll finally have the time to see the city, peruse the galleries and museums, nibble at the eateries, and generally get my head out of books.

Speaking of books- I keep thinking of the book Natural Capitalism by Lovins et al. from the Rocky Mountain Institute. My German Sister was right- that book is really giving me a point of view that is refreshing and unusual and absolutely practical and required.

Anyways- class is starting now, so I'm back to it.

Notice how I didn't talk about how tired I am and how busy I am and how gruelling this is? I'm not in the mood to repeat myself- you must be getting sick of hearing it.

I guess I really am distancing myself from middle management...

Innovative Blood Lust

2005-10-10T17:50:00.000+01:00

I had my first Rugby game yesterday.
I liked it. My ankle hurts like nobody's business at the moment, so I don't know if it's because of the general pitch turf and using cleats, or if it's because there are serious problems with my ankle... nothing some ibuprohen, a tensor bandange and an hour of yoga this morning didn't help a lot with.

So- If I can- I'll play some more rugby. If I can't- I'm sure I'll live.

Speaking of living- I'm taking a number of people's advice and making the most of my MBA experience and joined an Innovation Challenge team. I'm also spending as much time possible studying and working. Speaking of working and studying- I'll get back to it.

All work and no blood...

2005-09-30T08:47:00.000+01:00

The Smurfit Rugby team is the invincible force! So reputable is their glorious victories that when the sign up sheet for the MBA Rugby team was being filled, I couldn't resist the opportunity to put myself in harm's way.

Now I know what you're asking- simply because the Beady Eyed Friend already asked
"What are you thinking signing up for Rugby?? How do you have time for that? You don't have time for that! What the hell is wrong with you????"

And I am very glad you asked- There are a few reasons why I signed up.
1) Networking with my fellow MBA team mates- These guys are not only awesome people who I genuinely like- they're also very powerful networking contacts who I will need a strong relationship with for all of our careers after graduation.
2) I want to see if all of my speed training for running and strength training with weights and yoga actually has any useful purpose.
3) The MBA World Rugby Championships each year at Duke- yes Beady- the Duke University in the States. It will allow me to network with MBA's from other programs through out the world- including programs specifically in Canada- and of course- allow them to network with Irish Lads- and the Tournament isn't until April- so I have all of first semester to pass the hard part of the year.

Go Smurfs!

The Best Mysterious Guilt Tripped Group

2005-09-28T13:02:00.000+01:00

Michael Crichton wrote a Murder Mystery novel while attending Harvard Medical School. What he wanted was a novel to pay for his schooling. What he got was a prize for the best new author.

Michael Crichton in his wisdom wrote the novel featuring characters who closely mirror the faculty at Harvard Med, so in his wisdom, he published it under the pseudenom of Jeffrey Hudson. As it turns out, Harvard Medical School and Smurfit Business School have something in common. EuroMBA! I just wanted to say that I have nothing to do with the Inquisition- nay WITCH HUNT that my most esteemed colleagues are undertaking! All I can say is- Hide yourself! Run for your life!!! I don't care who you are, but Samson will be as relentless as a Ontarian Pit Bull!!!

In other news entirely- I got SkypeOut, so I've been making calls. I got to hear The Beady-Eyed One's voice the day before however because she called me. Let me specify- She's the only one who ever called me including family- and she's also the only one who wrote me besides Corina.

/END GUILT TRIP

Anyways- I am now half way through the 3rd week. Barely able to breathe under the crippling amount of work- but luckily I have the best group in the program! YEAH! You heard me, Brendan! Yeah! Mine's better!!! So eat it! Yeah Samson- You're on my MIS team- so you're the best team for that- but at all other times- Sorry, your team just doesn't cut the mustard! And Alistair- Whooops- Wait- you're on my team. Dude- you're the best!

Good News, Bad News, and Ugly News

2005-09-23T19:54:00.000+01:00

The good news first!
I am safe and working hard! I wouldn't say this is the time of my life- I am working too hard for that- but I'm survivng, and the first semester- the really really tough one is 1/6 done.
The bad news:
I have been a bad blogger, and my blogging neglect will probably continue- I just have other priorities right now- like not failing Principles of Finance, Financial Reporting, Management Accounting and Business Economics.
The ugly news:
I haven't slept more than 6 hours a night since I got here, and am putting in 90-100 hours each week. It's gruelling! (but the ultimate reward is worth it). Oh yeah- and I'm totally freaked out that although I know I can get a handle on the problem areas if I have enough time to devote to nuturing the skills- I don't know how I will get the time to nuture all skills! I'm going to try my utmost though.

The good news:
I am in class with really amazing people and it's a decidedly cooporative environment. We all help eachother out. I am helping out my classmates, and they are helping me out. I am making friends with everyone.
The bad news:
I miss some of my friends back in Toronto- like the Beady eyed one.
The Ugly news:
None of my friends I am making here are as pretty as the Beady Eyed one... Not that they're ugly, but my Beady Eyed friend is gorgeous!

The Good News:
The Economist Intelligence Unit applied their intelligence and ranked Smurfit MBA as 52 in the world.
The Bad News:
We didn't crack top 50.
The Ugly News:
Blue Skin and White hats makes for a weird looking class photo.

The Good News:
The mystery of Alicia Ross has coming to a close.
The Bad News:
The closure doesn't have a nice ending.
The Ugly News:
I'm not certain if a better fence would make a better neigbor in this instance, unless the fence was chain link and barbed wire, a la Gitmo.

The Good News:
Prices for flights to and hotel stays in Huston have dropped.
The Bad News:
Rita is going to be the main tourist this weekend.
The Ugly News:
This might be a Katrina all over again "If you're rich and white- you take a flight. Poor and black- you take flack..."

Day 3 and beyond

2005-09-14T18:55:00.000+01:00

The more classes I take, the more that I am absolutely convinced that I have made the right choice coming to Europe for my MBA. Not just for the change of scenery, and the international exposure, but also because of the pace of the lectures and structure of them.

The European MBA has an older cohort with more experience- and particularly most have actual management experience. The Smurfit average age is 31, for example with 9 years experience. The classes are mostly case based, and seminar format instead of the teacher going on and on, as would be the case in North America to young classmembers who have little or no practical experience to place the information in context.

Anyways- nothing against the North American model, I'm just more and more sure that I made the right choice for me coming here.

Also- the one year out of commission didn't hurt either.

Student Life

2005-09-13T12:35:00.000+01:00

It's strange adjusting to being a student again. Since I am now a Smurf, and a student again, I have had to make some lifestyle changes.

Not the least of which was that last night after my first day at school, I kinda felt like Pizza. Fine. I felt like pizza, but I didn't get pizza. I stayed home and heated up Chicken Korma which I ate while i read my marketing book.

Then I locked myself in my room and prepared for today's Organizational Behavior class. It's odd because it's really not Organizational Behavior; it's HUMAN behavior. It's not how organizations behave, it's how people behave. That's a rather misleading title, don't you think?

Currently I'm eating lunch between classes- This afternoon I have MIS, Managemenet of Information Systems. After spending 7 years in tech, with 3 of them as a developer, I'll be interested to know of what this course will cover and whether it will be new things, or just a different take on the stuff I already know. (A new perspective is always useful though)

Today we got adressed by the Dean of the Business School who introduced the new MBA Program Administrator. He's taken on Smurfit after being at INSEAD, so he has experience with really high ranking schools with excellent reputations, so his expertise will no doubt transfer to promoting the Smurfit Brand and reputation.

We've already had two people drop out of the course, and it's only the second day! No one has gone out in a blaze of glory. Nothing exciting like someone jumping out of their seat in the middle of Finance Class and crying "I don't care what Father says! I want to be a Jazz Musician!!!" and tearing out of the room cackling madly. As soon as the door closes behind the outburster, the professor says "... and if you'll see for the fiscal quarter of 3 in 2002, the Price to Earning ratio has increased by 13% over over previous quarters..."

Now if you'll excuse me before class, I have to practice my clarinet... You know... just in case.

Lazy Immigrant...

2005-09-10T17:11:00.000+01:00

I am sitting in the immigration office on Saturday afternoon waiting en queue for my student visa. I am number 164 and it is now serving 98. Over the past hour they've served 49 people.

Here is the math problem for the GMAT:
If Mike is number 164 when he arrived at 1130, when there are 114 people in front of him, and there is now 66 in front of him at 1230 at what rate is the queue moving? Will Mike make it to the desk before they close at 1400? At what rate will Mike go mad?

Trick question: Beady eyed one can attest I went mad looooong ago! When I survive I'll update you. I'm meeting my friends at Trinity College at 1400 so I'll grab a bite then. This Irish (ding-dong! 54 more to go) dining habits has been great to me. I'm eating my fruits & veggies, but in far less quantity of food overall- as a result I can tell I'm going to lose my hard earned tub I developed over the past year... Not the beady eyed one ever complained. Not even when I pointed out my new belly and jiggled the jiggly. She never did complain, but I did cry as I watched her walk down the path to her office- I knew I'd miss her, and I do. Not just because she never complained about my tub, but because for a year she's been my best friend, my better half, my conscience, my greatest challenger, my death threat utterer, my frustration creator, my concubine, and the colour in my world.
Miss ya, kiddo. Love ya.

Lucky the Irish!

2005-09-09T19:04:00.000+01:00

Everything that I was fearful about the Irish doesn't apply. I thought that they would disorganized and slow. This is not the case. I was shuttled to my room quickly after I arrived where I showerred and met my first MBA classmate. What a fellow! More on that later.

Everyone in Dublin is extremely friendly. Every one associated with the program is very friendly and helpful. They're curious about me, as I am about all of them, so I'm taking time to talk to and meet all 40 students. All people i meet are extremely responsive.

Last night I had my first real Irish experience. I went to a genuine Irish Pub (complete with Cricket Hooligans) and ate a Guiness Beef stew and chips. I wouldn't say it was great tasting, but it was certainly worth the experience!

This afternoon after the class photos and extremely informative lectures on CVs preparing us for our One -on-one CV consultations, I went for a quick run. It felt awesome! I then came back home and went to sleep. I have a dinner tonight with my classmates and am really looking forward to it.

I got my course materials for my case studies. I'll thumb through the accounting book and be sure to update you all on that.

It even rained today! Imagine that! Rain in Ireland!

Oh and my current events and political critique that you obviously are impressed and enamoured with will probably take a bit of a different turn- The news papers are plentiful here- at the lobby of the Smurfit School Main Entrance, and they are both papers! Financial Times and Wall Street Journal- European Edition!

So- let's give it a try- eBay announced toady it was intent on offering a bid to buy VOIP superstar Skype. Immediately- the stock reaction was falling 3.8%.

Could it be the valuation of Skype at $3 Billion???

Christie Blatchford couldn't have said it better.

Ireland has Arrived!

2005-09-08T15:30:00.000+01:00

Good morning!

As I write this I am on a bus heading to Dublin City Centre and onwards to University College of Dublin which will become my new home. I waited in line oops- in queue for 10 minutes for the bank machine. I realized I needed cash for the bus to get from the airport, and then a cab afterwards to the Residence- and maybe a snack if I get hungry. Sushi anyone? As it turned out- the 10 Euros the Baron very generously gave me was sufficient to get the ticket and have enough over for bite. (probably- I don’t know bite prices here, but hopefully they’re as fun as bites from the Bead eyed one.

It was a fine flight. I nodded off quickly after a beef and rice dinner, and woke up to coffee and cold breakfast. I feel jetlagged and a little lost, but overall fantastic, and brilliantly confident that I made the right decision coming here!

Over the Atlantic somwhere....

2005-09-08T05:10:00.000+01:00

Hey all!
Good news! I have left Toronto safely and enjoyed the wonderful hospitality of Air Canada Business Class. My very friendly seat mate lamented that Air Canada is nothing like Japan Air Business Class, and that’s why AC is going down the tubes! LOL

My last couple of days as a Canadian has been a whirlwind of packing, getting prepared and overall mishigas that comes with moving to a new continent. Let’s start from the beginning.

I left work without a blaze of glory last week. My official last day was on Friday, but I stopped working on Thursday in order to get more errands done.

Friday- I got my haircut and then went to bank and jumped through some last minute hoops for my Student Loan- Very familiar hoops I might add as I was just in there last month doing the same things. I understand- things get lost- so it’s nothing that will raise my Ire.

Saturday I started getting really freaky messages in my laptop. My brand new laptop- like errors and registry trouble. So I did what any overcautious and slightly cagey somewhat technically inclined person would do- I reformatted my hard drive and reinstalled everything! Unfortunately- because I’m only somewhat technically inclined and not a full fledged card carrying techie or geek- I didn’t reinstall- I did a repair job, which actually didn’t fix a thing But I didn’t know it immediately. So there I was reinstalling all my drivers… and then I look in Program Files and see that all my programs are still there- they just aren’t part of the start menu or desktop. And there they were- very pleased with themselves indeed, so much so that if I was as suspicious as the Beady Eyed one- I would say they were mocking me!

Sunday I went for my last Brunch on Queen West at Portobello- wicked grub, dirt cheap and fantastically friendly and genuine atmosphere- very funny and sweet host. And then- for a last latte at BullDog (yes- Pearl- I know you’d be proud).

The Beady Eyed One and I had several last dates. Saturday was supposed to be the last date- but she then asked what I was doing on Monday- I had plans with a friend of mine from the Gym that missed my going away party due to work obligations in Calgary- so she asked if she wanted to hang out during the day. Who was I to say no to the Beady Eyed one? So we had lunch and an ice cream. That evening- I went with my friend to the best and probably the coolest Chinese restaurant in the city. It’s called Kum Jug Yeun and it’s on Spadina a block south of College. Don’t let the ducks hanging in the window and the grubby appearance fool you- the joint is cool because the food is pure ambrosia. I was sharing the best spicy squid in town with my friend when a tall German approached from behind and helped himself to a plump crustacean. “What is this?” Sniffed the scraggly looking young man and popped the morsel into his mouth. “Mmmmm! That’s good!” he said as he chewed. “Uh- Waiter?” I queried as my dining partner looked on in incomprehension. The ruse was taken far enough as I greeted my sister and her tall scraggly German boyfriend!

The next two days were filled with packing and final preparations- including going back to bank one last time. In the end- I was shooting for the Air Canada limit for each bag of 50 Lbs. I came in at around 60-65 Lbs each. This is after all, my entire life stuffed into two bags. My sister warned of exorbitant overweight penalties. Until my father reminded her that he booked me on a Business Class flight. Then she shrugged and said “Oh yeah- they’ll have no problem.” And they didn’t- I got checked in easily and quickly and the very pleasant and helpful check in agent strapped”Overweight” stickers on the baggage with out charging me a single Euro. Huzzah!

So- here I am in mid flight about an hour and half into the flight- and blogging about it. More to come after I land! Night all- I’m going to try to get some sleep.

Closet Space

2005-09-01T19:29:00.000+01:00

There was a fascinating little story of note in the papers this week- it seems a BC woman was denied a quick divorce from her husband because of a technicality in the law.

Adultery is grounds for immediate divorce, but it's defined in the text books as sexual contact between a man and woman where at least one party is married to another.

So- they changed the law.

But my blog is a guide to how to tell if you wife or husband is gay.

Your husband starts collecting show tunes.
Your wife starts following WNBA or women's golf.
Your husband owns more shoes than you.
Your wife owns fewer shoes than you, and they are all brown loafers.
Your husband gets a mini-poodle and starts carrying it around with him where ever he goes. When you question him about it- he bursts into tears and locks himself in the bedroom for 3 hours.
When in a disagreement with your wife- she challenges you to arm wrestle. She beats you. Easily.

Lucky Seven

2005-08-31T19:00:00.000+01:00

Seven days???
Seven days before I leave???

I got my bedding, and everything I need for my laptop, but I still might get one of those little cables to attach the laptop to desks and tables so someone with sticky fingers doesn't liberate my computer.
The only thing I need more is yoga gear, running gear, a really nice rain coat, and 260 v plugs for my electric toothbrush, and alarm clock.

Speaking of Toothbrush- I'm going to go see the Toothadontist today. I've had some trouble tracking one down, and all I had to do was ask Not Asian who she goes to...

My German Sister is in town to see me off, which is very nice of her, and she's running different errands for me. Maybe because i gave her my car to tour Eastern Canada with.

I'm coming up to my last date with the Beady Eyed one... I wonder how that will go...

How very Aristocratic

2005-08-30T15:31:00.000+01:00

Last night I went on a date with the Beady Eyed one. I'm feeling stressed about details with leaving, and Beady's blue about the job, so this comedy might be just what we needed.

We saw The Aristocrats.

For those who haven't been informed- it's a simple joke, with a great deal of leeway for improvisation and personalization, so it's been a little like a 'business card' for stand up comedians to trade since the days of Vaudeville.

The surprise highlights were Eric Mead and Billy the Mime.
Other notables were Sarah Silverman, and Taylor Negron.
The Ultra dirty Gilbert Gottfried and Bob Saget didn't disappoint us with shocking renditions.

Of course, Comedy master George Carlin ruler of the circuit for decades and winner of countless Grammies for his comedy albums kick off the movie with a fantastically decent improv.

So if you're not easily offended and find humor in the darker side of things- it's certainly worth the hour and a half where you'll be rolling the aisles, and laughing so hard you'll cough up a lung almost non-stop. Just don't bring popcorn into the movie, you'll choke on it. And don't bring soda pop into the theatre, because you're going to pee your pants.

Party party party!

2005-08-29T16:59:00.000+01:00

I had my going away party this weekend.

It was an unmitigated success!
Although the bloated 14 person roster was culled to 11, and then to 10- group felt complete. Despite 10 people, the gathering was oddly intimate.

Some got to finally meet the Beady Eyed friend that they heard so much about. Others were just impressed that I had so many such nice friends. It's not that they didn't think I had friends- more that all my friends were so nice!

Something that I'd like to think I have is an ability to sniff people out quickly- and I guess I'm a little gratified that my ability results in a group of 10 people who really are absolutely great people- genuine, sweet, intelligent and just for lack of a better term 'cool' not in a Queen West trendy Drake Hotel kinda cool, though... and perhaps that's for the best because usually by the time The Drake gets really hopping- I'm ready to start hopping too.... right into bed (such is the curse of the 5 am wake upper)!

So- not all of my friends could make it for one reason or another, and those friends who weren't there- I'll be sure to see before I leave (in 9 days *GASP*).

More than one person commented- I have so many really interesting, cool and really nice friends, I should have had more dinner parties while I was here.

Maybe when I get back, I'll be the dinner outing guy. 3-4 times a year, pick a restaurant, and have a 10-15 person party- and only cool people are invited.

OK- you can come too.

Stupid Battle of the Sexes

2005-08-26T15:16:00.000+01:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4183166.stm

A Psychologist at Manchester University said that he proved that Men are in fact smarter than women. However- the only proof he provides is IQ tests.

I think that's an indication of his own intelligence if he believes that IQ tests are an accurate indication of intelligence. Since when are IQ tests any indication of intelligence except for the myopic version that's ultimately flawed?

There's certainly other ways to be clever and intelligent smart and even brilliant than can be measured by the test, and ways that will ultimately serve you better in career, relationships and life.

I'm thinking specifically about Strategic smarts and People smarts. I've known few men who can compete with women on the strategy smarts and people smarts level. From what I understand, women immerse themselves in strategic rich situations from very early on, cliquing off, being catty, forming alliances, so they have way more practice at it than guys. Also- from what I understand, psychologists say that women are more empathetic which make them able to read others better, and adapt to them quickly and understand their motivations. Women are also more detail oriented- which is a powerful advantage for relationships and career.

I'm not one to frequently generalize about the sexes, and to be truthful, I often find it slightly distasteful in others (maybe because it's often more vitriol than observation), but I was talking with a CEO of a small consulting company the other day- a very adventurous fellow and a successful entreprenuer. He marvels at the ease with which women wield power. They are the real decision makers, and it's not just confined to Lady MacBeth. I've known for a while to listen to the Beady Eyed friend when she gives advice (and boy- does she love giving out advice), and I've found when she does- it's bang on, and I'm not a stupid or clueless man. I've always beleieved that in order to have a successful relationship- you just need to find a woman who's smarter than you. Now- it's pretty tough for me, and I admit with all due modesty that my pickings of people of both sexes smarter than me is incredibly sparse.

So- let men have their IQ's higher by 5 points- women still have the smarts where it really counts.

City Optical is a Bad Optician

2005-08-25T20:39:00.000+01:00

I just wanted to let everyone in Toronto know that City Optical is a horrible place to get glasses. OK- not just that- I'm trying something a little vindictive. I'm making sure that when the site gets indexed by search engines, it will let everyone know that City Optical is a bad optician.

They care nothing about their customers. If you have a problem with your order from City Optical- you're unable to get help, it's against the corporate policy of City Optical.

To Surmise- if you go to Go to City Optical, know that you're deal with a bad retain operation, because City Optical is a Bad Optician!

Now- that I've sufficiently stuffed the key words into this blog, I'll share my view of retail marketing. I've been doing Marketing for a few years now, and have some good skills under my belt, and it's simple law of marketing: if you want to be successful in marketing, you have to make your client happy.

Putting in clauses such as no refunds, all sales final etc... will only frusterate your client when they run into trouble (which some invariably will). These clients, in return will tell everyone possible that your operation is a flawed enterprise, with perverted priorities, and are scammers who rip everyone off and sodomize house pets... All except the last one would be accurate (and the last one may be accurate on an individual case by case basis. I'm not judging...).

Now- if you have a less adversarial customer policy, the client won't feel like they have an enemy in you. A successful relationship will be fosterred, loyalty will be nurtured, and Viral marketing will commence, leading to a long and steady pipeline of loyal customers who will trust your brand.

Being a mainly B2B boy myself, I've always been hip to the jive that you either provide the best possible service, or you will choke and die- quickly. I've always thought that when it comes to B2C- you can go either way- you can offer a premium service at a premium cost, or you can charge the base cost and let the dumb poor shmoes who use your service choke on it. Now I'm more certain than ever- if you don't keep your clients from choking- they will choke you in the end, either by litigation, or by removing the rug from under you.

Stalks and Bonds

2005-08-22T20:32:00.000+01:00

I wish I had something funny to say.

I usually have something funny to say- a unique take, an hilarious insight, but regarding Alicia Ross, I just can't think of a thing, not because I'm having an off day, but because there can be nothing funny about this tragedy in my eyes.

A blogger buddy was followed on Friday and has a freaky blog about it. Chilling stuff.

Eating Palestine gives me Gaza

2005-08-19T15:53:00.000+01:00

The pull out from Gaza is going a lot smoother than everyone feared. Not to negate the tragedy of the loss of 4 Palestinians at the hands on a settler acting alone with a high powered handgun (and he wasn't even a postal worker), the evacuation of the territories have been largely without incident. Not through lack of protest by either side, but violence didn't erupt.

I am confident this will secure peace between Israel and Palestine. Trading land for peace has worked in the past. For example- with Egypt, all it took was the Sinai Peninsula.

Striking up the Band

2005-08-15T14:19:00.000+01:00

The CBC is on strike.

For those of you who don't know what the CBC is- it's like the NPR or the BBC. CBC Radio is a government funded crown corporation. It has two basic channels- the news/talk channel and the classical music channel.

Oh yes- and on Saturday evenings, CBC2- the classical channel becomes CBC3- the indie-rock channel.

I was driving to work this morning and turn it to CBC1 as I usually do to hear the news- and there was music. It took a few minutes to sink in- Oh yeah- the Strike! There was an energetic Hip-hop song that wasn't completely without charm on, so I left it there. Turns out a fellow named Chaos did it and got a Juno for his efforts- then there was Guess Who; then, out of No where: they play Niko Case (Of whom I am a big fan- regardless of how hot she is).

If they keep up with this great standard of Canadian Music- I hope the strikers never get their demands met!

Tuesdays with Book Reviews

2005-08-09T18:00:00.000+01:00

The big wedding this weekend was a great success. I performed my toast and it got laughs, which is good.

The whole weekend was a bit of a whirlwind, with the dinner the night before, the brunch the next day, plus a friend's birthday Barbecue I'm looking forward to spending an evening without distraction just zoning out and eating pizza.

Maybe I'll rent a DVD but I'm entirely unsure if there's anything of quality currently available.

Then of course there's reading instead, but I'm not certain if my brain wants Jane Jacob's octogenarian radical rantings or Malcolm Gladwell's sole use of anecdotal evidence to support ludicrous premises and repeated support of a larger issue. I mean- there's thorough and then there's spending 300 pages to illustrate a point that someone can say in 4 words:

trust your first impression.

Don't get me wrong- I love Malcolm Gladwell... I love him, but I tonight I just want something like Harry Potter, but I already finished number 6. Of course- there's still Tuesdays with Morrie which is turning out to be a sleeper hit for me. It's extremely engaging, sweet, soulful, and thoughtful without being preachy unlike some authors who shall remain nameless and without pretension, repetition, namedropping and haphazard slinging of anecdotes, unlike other authors who shall remain nameless.

I guess there's my answer on what to do tonight.

Getting Hitched

2005-08-04T16:27:00.000+01:00

My dad is getting married on Saturday at a downtown restaurant.

Am I excited?
Absolutely- I get to see all the family- except my eldest sister who is trapped in California with an expired Visa. The original plan was singing and playing guitar. I'm a good singer and guitar player, but I'm also deathly afraid of playing guitar in front of crowds. So- I'm opting for making a toast instead. I am great at toasts and at public speaking. I also know the basic map for a toast.

Open with joke.
Talk about how you met the groom.
Make a risque joke about indiscressions
Talk about how the bride and groom met.
Make a risque joke about "not too late to run off with me..."
Quote a poet/playwrite/philosopher.
Close with a heart warming toast.

I'm sure you'll all be happy to know I did NOT use the map, and although I did slip in some jokes (how could I not) you'll also be happy and shocked to see I did not use any of the following: Poop jokes, fart jokes, funny accents, trick ties, or french words.

I know! I know! What's left????

Older

2005-08-03T21:39:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was my birthday and I embarked on a new decade.

I am not longer in my 20s, and although it feels the same, in other ways I know it will never feel the same. My muscles hurt a little more during my more rigorous runs, and I have a little less hair. BUT- I have a spring in my step that I hope I never lose, and I'm told I won't, I have energy, and I am now getting the benefits of maturity- wisdom and confidence.

I see the kids today- I thought I would be all depressed about getting older, getting out of touch with pop culture, but to tell you the truth, I lost interest in it. It's not that it escapes me, it's that it just doesn't interest me. I have no idea who 50 cent is, and frankly, I don't care who he is. I know who Jane Jacobs and Malcolm Gladwell are- they're pop culture enough for me.

I don't want to chase 20 year old girls- besides the fact that Beady eyed friend would murder me, they don't have the wonderful experience and qualities I've grown to worship in girls my own age- especially Beady Eyed friend. Things like incredible confidence, poise and class. Absolute incredible silliness interspersed with cerebral insight. A knowledge of the world around, and a comfort in yourself that the world is more damn afraid of you than you are of it.

In the end- I choose Amanda Lang and Kevin O'Leary over Rick Campanelli. (OK- I admit I have no idea who Rick Camparello is- I went to the Much Music site and he was the first name on the personalities list). I choose coffee over Smart Drinks. I choose sushi over burgers and I choose Kenneth Cole over Tommy Hilfiger.

But I still have my poop jokes- I'm never out growing those.

This land is my land... WHACK

2005-07-29T17:49:00.000+01:00

Why is everyone so upset about Hans Island?

Well- it's the summer, people are kinda sick of reading about the London Bombings and terrorism, reporters aren't stalking Karla Homolka and most everyone who mean to read Harry Potter already finished it.

But DAMNIT! The papers need to sell editions! The dailies need to manufacture their little dramas to engage the readers because for some, Whirlpool's bid for Maytag just doesn't cut it. I'm not a violent guy- but those papers sometimes just make me want to punch a Somali Immigrant in the face... Oops- looks like Roy Preston beat me to it.

I can see why Preston was so confused that he mistook a passerby as a serious threat. It's because when you spend enough time in the blue Uniform- say... 3 days- you become a cynical jaded bastard. Something inside you just dies and you begin to suspect that everyone is out to get you and every one is against you, and everyone is a scourge of society who you want to throw behind bars. I don't know whether the job is honestly so tough, or if being a police officer just attracts people who are assholes anyways, but either way- if you're a cop, chances are you're an asshole.

Thanks for protecting me from the criminals and terrorists, though, asshole.

Scare for sales

2005-07-28T18:07:00.000+01:00

TORONTO, Canada (UPI) -- Terrorist bombs could cause widespread carnage in Toronto but the city is not prepared, Canadian experts say.
"Toronto is as much at risk of an attack as London," said Dave Harris, a former Canadian Security Intelligence Service chief of strategic planning and now president of a counter-terrorism and security consulting company.
Copyright 2005 by United Press International

Um- yeah, nice try, Harris, considering your current position- you're not an objective source. What you are is enlisting media to get free advertising for your company.

It's in your interest to say "We're all at risk!" and "Widespread Carnage is imminent!" because you personally benefit from people feeding into the terror.

The Terrorist's objective is not widespread carnage, it's small and sporadic hits at different targets to fill people with doubt, fear and... terror.

Shame on you, Dave for helping the terrorists out. You try to capitalize on fear and take promote the message of terrorism, and that makes you a greedy sicko.

New Job: Motivational Speaker.

2005-07-26T14:45:00.000+01:00

Yesterday as I was walking into the grocery store (I desperately needed baby Spinach and oranges) I bumped into an old neighbor from across the street who commented that I always look so positive and energetic. And we chatted for a few moments before she started lamenting that she can't get into the gym or bring herself to work out. She described how she was a prisoner of her home because she feels like she can't leave the house because of how she looks and just skipped her high school reunion because she was ashamed. She felt like it was too long since she's been a healthy weight and that she'll never be healthy.

I can't even fathom how horrible she must feel about herself- she wasn't a bad looking lady- she just looked like she could take better care of herself.

It didn't take long to convince her that entire industries have been built on helping people fall in love with fitness and there are legions of people who make it their job in life to keep their clients motivated and hitting the gym and reaching and their fitness goals.

I told her that Curves differentiates itself as being a 'first gym' for out of shape women to fall in love with fitness and then they graduate on to Goodlife, Bally's, Sports Clubs of Canada, Premier, JCC, YMCA, or any of the many many others.

And it's probably not so much that Goodlife is a bad gym as it is that the St.Clair location is abysmally mismanaged.

Anyways- after convincing her that the odds were stacked in her favor and enlisting the help of a personal trainer and joining a gym would keep her on the right track, and encouraging her to promise herself that she would only watch CSI if she was on her treadmill- she beamed said "I feel like I just got a talk by Anthony Robbins!"

Fah! I'm much better looking than him.