The Story of Passover: Modernized and Abridged

By Mike Iseman.

Long long long long long long ago- the Egyptians had Sweat shops and made the Israelis work in them for slave wages putting together Gucci Bags and Nike Shoes and Levi Jeans. One day- one of the seamstresses had a child- and she didn't want him working in the sweat shop, so she hid him in the sewer- where the boss man's daughter was scoring blow.
She saw this kid floating down the sewer and was all "What a cute kid!" and adopted him and her boss man dad was all "You can't have a kid!!!" and she was all "But look at how cute he is!" and he was like "Yes. He's cute. He can stay!" and raised him as his own and he grew up under the name Mosey.

One day Mosey was smoking some chronic when suddenly his joint started talking to him. He just thought there was some weird stuff in the chronic, until the joint proved it was God. The joint told him he's an Israeli, and has to liberate his people from the sweat shops.

So he went to his boss man dad and said "Let my people go!" and boss man said "Um. Maybe not." so Mosey called him a douche and left.

The next day- he came back and said "Let my people go or my joint will pull mad shit!
1) Gang members (Blood)
2) French Tourists (Frogs)
3) Crabs (Lice)
4) Mosquitoes (Flies)
5) Undercooked Burgers (Murrain)
6) Acne (Boils)
7) Crappy weather (Hail)
8) Taxes (Locusts)
9) Loss of Electricity- so No TV, no XBox, no Internet (darkness)
10) Dropping the Blackberry in the toilet (Death of the first born son)

So- Boss man was like "Go screw yourself!"
and the plagues started- and soon boss man realized just how much deep shit he was in, and said "Fine! The Israelis can leave!" so they started packing to get the hell out of there fast before Boss man changed his mind. They knew they wouldn't have time to stop for food on the way and started packing lunches and placing orders from Take out- but the only place that would deliver that fast was The Indian restaurant with awesome Tikka Misala- but their Naan bread kinda sucked. I mean- it really sucked! It was brutal. It was like cardboard! Tasteless! Crunchy. Like a really bad cracker- but they were fast.

So the indian place delivered and the Israeli's escaped and so every year for 7 days we eat awful naan bread to commemorate our liberation from the sweat shops!

Happy 2008

Well,

Let's try this whole blog thing again. I figure it's a shame to waste my interesting and amusing insights on my friends and family only.

Besides- They've stopped listenning.

I've never needed a date of the year to resolve to improve myself, so my new years resolutions will just to continue to try to be the best me I can be.

Some of my resolutions I actually think are pretty fun- like in April I decided to start dressing better. I stated moisturizing again, got some new duds, and just started taking better care of my outwards appearance. It's just part of being the best me I can be.

Other resolutions are less fun- but pretty necesary like not taking everything so personally. I'm pretty good at rolling with the punches, and I'm getting pretty good at not taking things personally- but still...

And other things are just overdue- like resolving to be more organized. (Who the hell wants a disorganized Project Manager??? What good is her or she?)

My life's a pretty good place right now. I feel pretty happy and blessed. Things aren't perfect, but they never ever ever are.

Happy New Year and may 2008 bring you all success, joy and health.

Post MBA Job

It’s been a while since I made an update to the blog, and I apologize for that. I have had a hell of a time finding a job… that’s not to say that it’s finding a job is hard, but I guess more specifically- it’s the right job that’s elusive. A couple of false starts would have gotten me down if I had any less spirit and optimism, I might have gotten discouraged, but I applied the methodology and process of finding a job, and stuck with it.

First- the false starts and processes:

• liI never passed up an opportunity to interview for a position, even if it was something I wasn’t sure would be a right fit- it can’t hurt to meet new people and expand my network.
  
• It also provided the opportunity to practice my interviewing skills, so I would appear relaxed and smooth when in an interview in an interview I want and the heat’s on. OK- I’ll never be smooth, but… smooth for me.
  

The false starts included a company where the CEO and I had a great rapport. He made me an offer, then he changed the offer to a contract which he assured me would flip into a permanent role in the new year (this was early December). Three days later- he said he had a talk with his management team, and they overruled him- they want someone with more sector experience.

Another one- a completely bizarre one- I had 3 interviews and they were clearly excited and thought it was a great fit, but before they make an offer, they be perfectly sure that we were all on the same page. So they asked for a quick project consisting of a paper just outlining what I’d do in my tenure in the role. I spent a few days on it, not a big deal, and sent it on. They got back to me quickly saying they were very impressed, and it was exactly what they had in mind as far as the role and duties and goals were. At this point- given the context I’m thinking “Great. Next meeting- they’re giving me an offer!” and we schedule an interview for the following Wednesday when the CEO is in town from London. Just to be sure, I send an email asking “What are the next steps for the application?” thinking the answer would be “We’re giving you an offer” or “We’re squaring things away with bookkeeping so we can scrounge up the money for your salary.” Or even “We’re looking at one last other candidate- it might come down to a death match… will advise soon. Thanks for your patience!” but no- their response was “We’re meeting in town with Vendors, and we’ll get back to you regarding time and place after we confirm with them.”

So- the next Monday comes around and no word from them. Next Tuesday comes around- the day before the interview is supposed to take place, and still nothing, so I call and it goes through to voice mail after the receptionist transfers me. So- I send an email… and no response. Over the next few days and week, I called a number of times, despite the assurance from the receptionist that the CEO knows I’ve been trying to get in touch. And the emails all remain unanswered- as if thrown into some bottomless void.

It’s now been over a month later- and I still haven’t heard from them! I gave up trying.

And another company- we had a few good interviews and they give me an offer over email detailing the role and the goals and objectives of the role. I send an email back agreeing to the role and goals and asking for the compensation package they’re offering. That was over a week and a half ago and I didn’t hear from them again.

It’s now down to 2 jobs I’ve gotten offers for. Both are amazing dream jobs that I’d be very very happy in. I’ll have to make a tough decision, but I’ll be sure to inform you, kind bloggites of my decision and details on both jobs and my final decision and the reason I chose which I chose.

Life afer the MBA

I am on the cusp on post-MBA employment. After a respite to recouperate after my intense journey, I am likely going to be getting a job offer now. I've been interviewing for similar roles at different companies- Senior managment doing Product and Marketing Management and Business Development mixture. It's actually really interesting and feel up to the task.

Besides that- I completed the Dublin Marathon in fine form and am seriously considerring running the Paris Marathon in April. I've actually already started training for it. I am running a road race this weekend. They are opening a new underground 5K tunnel from the Bay to the Airport, so the race takes place to the oposite end of the tunnel and back.

I feel transformed through my MBA experience. Now that I've had some time to reflect and digest on the experience and am engaging with others in a business capacity, I can feel the changes. I think the big change is with my business confidence. The interviews feel less like interviews and more like friendly chats where we try to see if there's a fit. Kinda like a first date... except while the people on the other side of table are very nice, I frankly hope none of these dates ajourn with a kiss.

As promised in my previous post- here are some hot pictures of me completing the Dublin marathon.

Marks, Running and Sitting on my ass eating chinese...

Long over do post here. Bad blogger. Bad bad blogger.

I got my marks for the second and third semesters, as suspected- I am getting my sheepskin. I'm not going to sit here and boast about my grades, because I think that would just be tacky- but suffice to say- I'm largely satisfied with my efforts, and feel that the marks reflected that effort accurately.

Next week I am running in the Dublin Marathon. I'm the picture of psychedness! We'll see if my time reflects the effort I've put in here too. I won't talk about the time I'm shooting for, because I could totally miss it and come in way over that time, which would make me just look stupid- but I'll post pics as soon as I get them.

My father and I used to watch his favorite show together on Tuesdays. Grumpy Gibbs and the Dead Marines show- also known as NCIS. I download the episodes and watch them on my computer, and I think my father would enjoy this season. I watch the episodes and think of him. We'd get Chinese Take out from Kum Jug Yeun, watch NCIS and argue about who did it. We'd always have it cracked by the 2nd commercial. Now on a different continent and a year later- I get my Chinese take out from Mars, watch NCIS and fondly remember our hashing out who did it and why before Gibbs gets his Gut Instinct.

New Year

The Year is starting anew this Saturday, and that means time to start reflecting and atoning for my transgressions this past year.

Now- I have largely kept out of trouble because the MBA tends to do that, and I'm not about to start airing dirty laundry on public web space- but I just wanted to say to - you know who you are- and you know what I did- I'm very very sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you- I feel terrible that I did and I can only offer my most sincere and humble apologies and unconditional contrition.

A number of people have asked me what I'm doing for RH this year and given 1) I don't have family here and 2) that there are no Jews here in Dublin to celebrate with (whoops- I mean with whom to celebrate). I thought I met one other Jew once, but as it turns out it was just a leprechaun with a funny hat. I'll probably just get Chinese take out and gnaw on some Apples and Honey and watch Curb Your Enthusiasm. Now that's what I call a happy new year... or at least a very amusing one.

Convert

While living overseas, it's been difficult to obtain Canadian new papers. Of course I check Globeandmail.com daily, but I've been forced to rely on other dailies for a physical paper experience.

In the MBA office, we have two papers available- Financial Times (a very good newspaper) and Wall Street Journal - Europe Edition (An exceptional newspaper).

At first- I just really liked the fact the FT has an MBA section every Monday, and it's pink! PINK I tell you! But then it struck me a few months ago- I prefer The Wall Street Journal.

So I did a little research on this paper that has captured my interest- apparently- when a study was done of top Dailies, WSJ was found to score as the most Liberal of them.

I did a little more research- it's got the highest salaried readership (big surprise there) in the US.

I did a little more research- The Globe and Mail offers the WSJ to be delivered daily with your G&M paper... Now-when I get back- if I can only get the WSJ and not the G&M - or will that just sound to the poor drone taking the order "One Chicken Tikka sandwich, hold the Chicken, please."