War is hell
Telus Corporation is aggressively pursuing Microcell Telecommunications Inc. For the lay-people; That’s Telus trying to remove Fido from competition. For the layer-people- Lizard vs. Doggy!
Telus keeps on not only extending offers to buy out Microcell- then pushing back the offer, then increasing the offer- then trying to buy it share by share- but also trying to grab all their customers by giving offers to the end users- like “Bring us your Fido Phone- we’ll buy out your plan, upgrade your phone and give you a better plan”
So- with all this happening- Fido might feel like it has a bunch of little red sniper dots all over its forehead… so what does the little dog do? It gives a crazy offer like $45/ month for unlimited use.
As with all wars- it starts with the decision makers declaring war on each other and then it eventually flitters down through the ranks to the echelons of the masses- the end users. Those using their $150 Telus plan for unlimited North American Long distance, or Granny who uses her $20/plan in case her car goes into a ditch.
Soon- they will take the next logical step- manufacturing hate and fear.
“Telus Corporation people are not like you and me. Telus Corporation people don’t feel love the way we do.”
“Microcell stock holders eat their babies.”
“Telus Clients smell like old cheese.”
“Fido customers are responsible for 9/11!”
“Yo momma!”
“I’m Rick James, Bitch!”
…and before we know it- Granny 20 is tackling Mr. unlimited 150 as he’s trying to get her into a full Nelson… and meanwhile- Bell Clients are still on hold waiting for Customer Service, and Rogers Clients are being cross sold again… “I see you chat on your phone quite a bit… You know who else does? Viggo Mortinson! Have you seen him in Hidalgo? No? Well- Why don’t I just reserve that for you to pick up then...”
So- I suppose Fido’s unlimited plan was their best attempt at a weapon of mass destruction.
God Bless Telus- go get em boys!
Telus keeps on not only extending offers to buy out Microcell- then pushing back the offer, then increasing the offer- then trying to buy it share by share- but also trying to grab all their customers by giving offers to the end users- like “Bring us your Fido Phone- we’ll buy out your plan, upgrade your phone and give you a better plan”
So- with all this happening- Fido might feel like it has a bunch of little red sniper dots all over its forehead… so what does the little dog do? It gives a crazy offer like $45/ month for unlimited use.
As with all wars- it starts with the decision makers declaring war on each other and then it eventually flitters down through the ranks to the echelons of the masses- the end users. Those using their $150 Telus plan for unlimited North American Long distance, or Granny who uses her $20/plan in case her car goes into a ditch.
Soon- they will take the next logical step- manufacturing hate and fear.
“Telus Corporation people are not like you and me. Telus Corporation people don’t feel love the way we do.”
“Microcell stock holders eat their babies.”
“Telus Clients smell like old cheese.”
“Fido customers are responsible for 9/11!”
“Yo momma!”
“I’m Rick James, Bitch!”
…and before we know it- Granny 20 is tackling Mr. unlimited 150 as he’s trying to get her into a full Nelson… and meanwhile- Bell Clients are still on hold waiting for Customer Service, and Rogers Clients are being cross sold again… “I see you chat on your phone quite a bit… You know who else does? Viggo Mortinson! Have you seen him in Hidalgo? No? Well- Why don’t I just reserve that for you to pick up then...”
So- I suppose Fido’s unlimited plan was their best attempt at a weapon of mass destruction.
God Bless Telus- go get em boys!
posted by Mike at 9/01/2004 05:29:00 a.m.
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