McCuley Culkin is missing!!!!

Click the pic

Ermm.... No I haven't... but whatever you do don't check the loose board bellow my trunk in my mother's guest room closet... because it's not there... the only... er... thing that's there... er... is... er... my drugs. Yes! My drugs! And my weapons! Absolutely! So rest assured- I may be a junkie who carries weapons, but not art stealer... no sir! Not me! AHEM! So- no reason to look in the closet... yeah... just take my word for it, because.... because... I mean- hey if you can't trust a junkie with a weapon collection- ILLEGAL weapon collection what's this world coming to? I mean you don't trust lawyers and they're some of the most trusted individuals in society... Ok I realize that I just totally contradicted myself here, but I'm a little nervous- I mean- what is this? The Inquisition? What's with all the questions? I'm not on trial on here am I?

Anyways- even if you wanted to find the art... I mean the drugs and weapons- you couldn't because... er... it's under a big pile of pornography! yes! that's right! I'm a junkie with penchant for illegal weapons and porn and stolen art... Ooops! Strike that last one from your record. Just forget I said anything alright??

Damn- I can't get you to shut up, can I?