Black in the Family

BWI- Boating while Influenced?

OK- that was harsh- but there is a segue here- and that is the case of Kevin Kahn which was in court yesterday.

Apparently- Reported by Police Mr. Kahn is a young and handsome Black man who was driving erratically, and thus- was pulled over.

After being pulled over- the Constable apparently smelled drugs in the car, and thus had just reason to search it. A search revealed cornucopious amounts of cocaine, and thus arrested said handsome black man.

Justice is served, right? Wrong!

The real representation of justice- the Judge poked holes in all this!
The reason the handsome black man was pulled over was not erratic driving- but because he was DWB (Driving while Black) and driving a very nice car too I might add- a Mercedes- apparently being a Real Estate Broker agreed with him…

Anyways- Being a good fellow- he lent his brother his Mercedes for the week- the Brother who is the alleged owner of said cornucopious amounts of cocaine- but the Drugs are inadmissible as evidence, because the police had no reason to believe there were drugs in the car.

But didn’t the officer smell drugs?
No- the judge decreed that he didn’t smell drugs- he was lying that he smelled them, and what’s more- he (the officer) is a dick because he’s trying to prove said handsome black man is a felon because he’s handsome and black… or maybe just black. Cocaine only has a very faint smell, aparently.

Now- I want to talk about something that’s on everyone’s mind- getting pulled over for DWH- Driving while Handsome- not to be confused with DWS (Driving while Smiley) because it can easily be conflated with Driving While Happy. My sister and I practice the DWS method of driving regularly and it honestly has gotten us out of more trouble than in.

But DWH must be a horrible experience.
“Step out of the car, you sexy mofo! You’re too pretty for that VW!”
“You in the Nissan- roll up those windows, lady! Your hair is going to get all mussed up! Just use the AC.”
“Sir- please waddle out of your Bimmer and let Paulo here take over in his Diesel Jeans and French Cut shirt…”

As far as the brother’s drugs… I dunno- a guy can’t be blamed for the actions of his brother- and there’s always one black sheep in the family… and that’s what I was thinking of- who exactly is the black sheep in my immediate family?

My eldest sister is raising two kids and has successfully retained her sanity (and waistline) despite the best efforts of her indefatigable son.
The middle sister is amassing properties as a burgeoning real estate tycoon (there I go using that word again) and is working on her second novel.
And the youngest sister is currently living in Germany doing her PhD in Engineering and recently won third place for an essay in a contest.

I guess that just leaves me. When you remove all other possible solutions- the remaining one- however unlikely is the correct one- and thus I am the black sheep.

I just hope I don’t get pulled over for DWBS.