Love, English teachers and big messes.

Sorry I haven’t updated my blog more recently- I’ve been busy- swamped at work.
How busy?
Busier than Bill Clinton at a Strip Bar. (Glad you’re feeling better, Bill)
Busier than Helmut Lang at a Matrix themed rave.
Busier than Phillip Roth a Fetish Party for Hillel.
Busier than Britney Spears at a family law firm offering bulk discounts
Busier than my sister in Germany at a… er… German Astrologer and Environmentalist convention(that was a stretch)
Busier than my friend S.K. at a “Perverted but cute anonymous” meeting. (They have those?? Where do I sign up???)
Busier than Al Sharpton at a Chili Dog eating contest.
Busier than OK- I think I’ve just about exhausted that :P

Last week there was a girl that I was dating casually. Over the weekend it suddenly turned ugly- and when I say ugly I mean serious- and when I say serious- I mean wonderful; so perhaps I should have used a better adjective than ugly... at any rate… This week a girl that I’ve been dating had an internet date planned for a while, and despite her insistence that she doesn’t want to go because things are good between her and I- I encouraged- nay insisted she go.

Why?
I frankly have no clue.

I called an hour after she was supposed to meet with the fellow to ask her if she wanted to have plans for dinner. She’s certainly sure to have the date well ended by then- right? Right?
Wrong.
The background din was undeniable- there was no belying the fact she at a Second Cup.

Well- she at least would sound bored over the phone and having a miserable time, right? Right?
Wrong
The chipper tones of her voice picked at my soul like a raven picking at my heart (please excuse the messy analogy- I know it was pedestrian at best). There was absolutely no denying that she was actually in a great mood!

Further torment when she called me back after her and her date parted to cheerfully inform me “You’ve been replaced!” My insides froze like… (ok- I already had one terrible analogy- I’m not going to try for two… what the hell- I am going to!) My insides froze as cold shot through me like ice water. (once again- terribly sorry; that is overused)

As it turns out- the little scamp was “taking a piss out of me” as my friend Elliot would cheerfully explain- we dined on sushi and basked in the bliss that is a burgeoning (there’s that word again) relationship…

I really should apologize for this email- my craft is definitely suffering from what I’ve been doing which is writing content for websites that’s optimized or search engines- and you tend to go a little nuts when you have write paragraphs like this; say the key word we’re optimizing for is “blogging”

Sorry I haven’t been blogging lately- my blogging efforts have been deferred repeatedly- as blogging efforts some times are- but rest assured my blogging will soon regain its former frequency and blogging will once again be something I’m doing often.

Yikes! If I write the b word one more time- I’m going to have a scatological accident.

So- sorry about this today’s bl…er, episode- hopefully next entry will be much better and you’ll find it in your hearts to read my next blog.
Do you smell something?


Oops.